


Say You Love Me

by CarlaFromCorrie



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarlaFromCorrie/pseuds/CarlaFromCorrie
Summary: A take on the 2020 soap preview for Carla and Peter[Disclaimer] This is not the storyline...
Relationships: Carla Connor/Peter Barlow
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

"Love, we're going to be late" Peter groans standing in the doorway of Roy's flat, Nina and Roy waiting anxiously at the table, Carla appearing with two rather large suitcases of her endless collection of designer gear, Peter smiled and wondered how he was so lucky to have someone like Carla in his life

"Alright! Take one then" Carla gestures to the large black case which weighed too much for her to carry, Peter rolled his eyes, taking the suitcase by the extendable handle and leaving it by the door of the flat, Carla walking over to the table where Roy and Nina were sitting

"Are you sure you're ok with this Roy?" she asks anxiously not really knowing if this was the right thing to do, Roy standing up and smiling curtly at her, his surrogate daughter was finally getting on with her life after months of doubting herself as well as being trapped in her own mind

"Carla, we've been through this, I am more than happy for y-you"

"Are you sure?"

"Y-yes" 

"Ok, gosh why am I so nervous" Carla chuckles lightly, it was true, she was nervous, more than nervous, her heart was racing at the fact that this could all go pear-shaped but she knew that it was time for her to live her life, her life with Peter, in love and living together, this was different from the last time, she felt free 

"It's a big step for you, love" Peter smiles putting an arm around her shoulders to comfort her feelings of anxiety, even after a year of being free from her psychosis, she still slipped back into a bundle of nerves every now and then but Peter was determined to help her settle down and be comfortable with living with him again

"I know it is, I just can't believe this is finally happening that's all" she replies tearfully, the situation somewhat emotional for her, well why wouldn’t it? She had been living with Roy for more than two years now, this was the only thing she knew as home

"We need to get going, Simon's waiting for us" Peter smiles kissing the side of her head, Carla going to give Roy one last hug, then Nina who had practically become her friend as well as a sister

"Look after him for me yeah? I know it's not exactly far but-"

"I will, now go" Nina insists as Carla chuckles at her eagerness, Carla waving goodbye, grabbing her handbag and one of the suitcases, as both her and Peter begin their new life living together, with Simon of course

"Are you sure Simon wants me living there?" she panics slightly as Peter sighs, both of them walking over the road towards Number One, Carla was sceptically in case Simon was just saying things to be polite

“He’s very excited about you living there, as am I, stop worrying” 

“I know, I know…ooh can we refurbish?” 

“Well considering you put in three-quarters of my dad's asking price, I don’t see why not”

"Oh don’t act like that, we've been through this a number of times, I had it saved up from the factory" Carla groans in response as Peter rolls his eyes opening the front door for them to go into the living room, greeted by Simon who was lying out on the worn-out sofa which once belong to his grandad

"Hi Si" Carla smiles knocking his legs to the floor and taking a seat next to him as he plays on his phone, looking up from it to glare at Carla

"Do you mind?"

"No, I don’t" she grins cheekily as Simon nudges her playfully, Carla nudging him back trying to swipe his phone off him as Peter watches with his eyebrows raised as well as relishing in the fact that his son and Carla were getting along well

"Right then children, what do you want for dinner?" Peter teases as both Carla and Simon glare at him, Simon scoffing at the words which came out of his father's mouth

"Well if Carla's cooking I'm not sure I want dinner" Simon retorts as Carla shoves him causing him to laugh uncontrollably Carla huffing in response

"Your dad's not much better!" Carla exclaims trying to defend herself, Peter groaning in response wanting an answer to the question he proposed minutes prior, as Simon rolls his eyes

"But the fact is Carla, he's better than you" Simon shakes his head coyly as Carla pouts her lips, shoving Simon again

"Fine I'll just get some fish and chips" Peter mutters grabbing his jacket and wallet and heading off to the chippy

"Hey nice one, saves me from slaving over a hot stove" Carla nudges Simon as he smirks rolling his eyes

"Saves me from eating my dad's cooking as well, at least he's better than you" Simon sniggers as Carla huffs in response going into the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of water to take her medication before Peter got back from the chippy

They all sat around eating their fish and chips around twenty minutes later. Domestic bliss, that was what this was and Carla was more than happy to relish in the fact that she had a cosy little life set up in a way that made her feel happy, she was happy but she did start to question whether things would stay that way considering the number of questions she got from Peter about where she got her money from, she didn’t really know herself and that was one of her internal fears she wouldn’t voice loudly, she just said she had it saved up from when she owned the factory as an easy way out, there were too many questions right now and she couldn’t deal with that, not when things were so positive anyway.

Simon had sauntered off to bed around nine knowing that he needed to be up early for college the next day leaving Carla and Peter to snuggle up on the sofa together, Peter weaving his hands through Carla's damp hair where she washed it after dinner. Peter decided he would bring up the conversation of the 'mystery money' as he liked to call it, he didn’t want to aggravate Carla know knowing that she would push him away, so he decided to bring it up calmly and not to get annoyed over her shifty behaviour which had occurred in the many weeks leading up to them buying Number One off his dad.

"Can we talk? It's nothing bad…"

"If this is about the money Peter, please just leave it, why can't you accept it for what it is?" she sighs, annoyed with the relentless questions, the truth was she couldn’t remember what happened or how she got the money, or was it that she didn’t want to tell him? She decided it was the latter

"Please Carla, I'm just asking you to be honest with me, I thought our relationship was based on the truth now"

"Don’t guilt-trip me"

"I'm not, please just speak to me, remember what Scott said, we need to talk about the way you feel and stuff like that" Peter laments, it was true, they did need to talk, they really did, but how could she talk when she didn’t know where to start let alone the truth?

"Ok fine, I don’t know where I got it from"

"What? How do you not know where you got £100,000 from?" Peter replies dumbfounded at the revelation, as if Carla would miraculously forget about having a large sum of money in her bank account, this whole set up somehow seemed sketchy all of a sudden

"I don’t know" she snaps "I really don’t know…I'm going to bed"

"You can't just drop that on me then walk off Carla!"

"Please Peter, I'm shattered, why don’t we go out tomorrow and do something, talk about this properly just us two yeah?" Carla offers as Peter sighs, he had no choice to agree with her, he glanced at the laptop on the table before glancing back at Carla smiling

"I'll be up when this finishes, you get comfy and yes, well talk about this tomorrow, just us" Peter reassures her as she smiles 

"Oh I almost forgot" she grins taking her laptop "there's a new episode of that box set I was watching on Netflix" 

"Oh right, my films a bit too boring for you now is it?"

"You know I'm not a fan of horror's, make sure you lock up yeah?" Carla smiles planting a kiss on his forehead, breathing a sigh of relief when leaving the room, allowing herself to mentally prepare for tomorrow's relentless questioning along with being able to unwind watching her box set

On the other hand, Peter was sat with his eyes glued on the TV, he wasn’t taking it in though, his thoughts were more on what Carla meant by not knowing where the random £100,000 came from, he was definitely confused and the niggling doubt in his mind thinking that it may be another lie, it annoyed him. Not one to pry, unless of course, it was to keep Carla safe, he wished she left her laptop down here so that he could have a look at her accounts, he didn’t want to invade her privacy considering she was a very private person but at this point, he felt like he had no choice, especially when things were so tense, all he needed to do was to get hold of the laptop.


	2. Money Is The Root of all Evil

"Where are you taking me?" Carla asks as she sinks back down into the passenger seat of Peter's car, Peter rolling his eyes at her eagerness to find out where they were going, he wanted it to be a surprise

"That my dear is none of your business" 

"Spoilsport" Carla mutters staring out of the window as Peter places his hand on her leg rubbing it up and down gently to comfort her slightly

"Why are we going to the beach, Peter? It's freezing" Carla grunts glancing at the road signs as Peter pulls into the cliffside car park which looked out across the murky turquoise water

"I brought snacks" Peter teases her as she raises her perfectly groomed eyebrow in response, he reaches back into the back seat grabbing the hamper from the footwell and placing it on his lap

"Oh, you weren't kidding…" 

"No I wasn’t, I thought we could use this opportunity to talk, that's all, without being interrupted" he shrugs handing her a sandwich as she laughs at the fact she was having a picnic with Peter, in his car

"Fine, what do you want to talk about?" she asks as if it wasn’t obvious, after her revelation last night she knew exactly what this conversation was going to uphold, and the questions he would ask, some she knew she wouldn’t know how to answer

"I think you know what I want to talk about don’t you?" 

"Yes but I still don’t see what the big problem is, I just want to settle down and get on with my life" she mutters as Peter sighs taking hold of her spare hand

"I know you do, but I need to know what you meant by what you said last night"

"Look, Peter…I'm pretty sure I got it from the factory ok? More than convinced so please just leave it" Carla moans as Peter shakes his head unamused at her ability to try and lie out of this situation 

"Don’t lie to me, Carla" 

"I'm not!" she shrieks "I really don’t want to fall out with you over this"

"Well tell me the truth then you won't because for one, I know when you're lying and I also know when you said what you did yesterday it was the truth"

"Ok then yes, I don’t know where I got the money from or who gave it to me" Carla groans as Peter shakes his head unamused at how it took this long for her to reveal the truth about where she got her money from

"Ok, that's a start"

"Does it really matter though Peter? Really? We have our own place now we don’t need to worry about it" Carla mutters as Peter sighs nodding slowly, but he really did need to know where she got this money from 

"No it doesn’t, but I need to know where you got it from to keep you safe in case you did something that was illegal or something, for example, you could've got that money when you were ill and did something then and you can't remember"

"I don’t know Peter, how many times, I-I just don’t remember, if I could I would tell you"

"Let me check your bank account then, I'm not doing this because I'm annoyed at you or want to hurt you I'm just doing it to make sure you're safe" Peter smiles slightly as Carla sighs nodding in defeat knowing Peter wouldn’t back down, Peter starting the car and heading back to the street

"I don’t see why you need to check my bank account, surely that won't prove anything?" she lies, she knew exactly what it would prove, she knows that it would prove when that money was deposited into her account and she wasn’t ready to be confronted with the truth just yet

"Well for someone who has been a successful businesswoman you're not very smart are you?" he teases as she playfully shoves him, blushing slightly at the word 'successful' before plonking herself down at the table next to him, as he goes to her online banking

"Let's have a look at your statements then"

At this point, Carla's heart was racing

"Oh…"

"What?" she questions somewhat shakily as Peter turns the laptop around so she could see it better, not that she needed to, she already had looked through her statements meticulously and knew exactly when that large sum of money was deposited into her account, it was time to test her acting skills

"Well it says this amount was deposited into your account on 31st December" Peter frowns confused as Carla narrows her eyes glancing at the words which were glued in her mind already but she had to look again to keep up the pretences

"Well that's odd"

"Yeah…maybe we should ask the bank about who deposited that money into your account?"

"Maybe, but as I said does it really matter?" Carla questions not really wanting to go into fine details over the situation, she just wanted to forget and see things for how they were but she also knew Peter was concerned that she may have done something when she was ill, she just didn’t know because if she was honest with herself her mind was a mess back then as well as it being a mess at this moment, there was no way she could comprehend this situation

"Carla, you can't blow this under the carpet, someone could've deposited this into your account to hide money or something, are you sure there is nothing you should be telling me?"

"I'm sure" she lies again, she doesn’t know why she continues to lie through her teeth, she guessed that he would stop eventually but she knew Peter, he was stubborn like her, he wouldn't stop not unless he was force to or the revealed the truth

"Why don’t I believe you? Please just speak to me"

"It's not as simple as that, look Peter I really appreciate you trying to look after me an' all that but what's done is done" 

"But it may not be, can't you see sweetheart? Someone could come looking for you over this money and the fact that we've given it to my dad so he could buy the retirement flat, it makes it my business to keep him and Claudia safe"

"Fine! I don’t know who gave it to me, I really don’t"

"I know, I know… do you have any ideas who could've given this crazy amount of money to you?"

"I have no clue, I woke up to check my bank accounts one day and it was there, I really don’t know Peter" Carla groans in response as Peter sighs knowing she was starting to get annoyed with the constant questioning

"We ring the bank then"

"Please Peter don’t do this" Carla cries as Peter huffs in response placing the phone down on the table where she could see it 

"Then stop lying to me!"

"Michelle gave it to me" she lies again as Peter frowns confused at her response, he knew that Michelle definitely didn’t have that sort of money especially since she sold the bistro for half the amount, Peter knew everything because Carla told him everything, apart from the topic of discussion of course but he knew this was a pack of lies

"So if I rang Michelle now she would say she gave you £100,000?"

"Well no, please just stop-"

"Hi dad" Simon replies cheerily having arrived home from college, he noticed the obvious tension in the room and raises his eyebrows at Carla and his dad who had painted a smile on for his benefit

"Ave I interrupted summat?" he questions as Carla and Peter shake their heads in unison, Simon frowning knowing that they were just trying to hide their domestic from them

"We were just discussing what we were going to have for dinner, weren't we Carla?"

"Yeah" she coughs awkwardly "We were thining Fajita's then your dad wanted enchiladas, so we were just arguing over that nothing for you to worry about…"

"Right…I will leave you to it then…I don’t mind what we have if that helps"

"I'm popping out to see Roy" Carla states randomly as Peter sighs grabbing her wrist to stop her from leaving Carla tilting her head back in exasperation wrangling her wrist free and heading for the door, maybe Roy could help her right now considering his logic on these situations

"Hi Aggie, is Roy around?" Carla leans over the counter as Aggie smiles at her

"He's upstairs, love. You can go up if you want?"

"Ta" she replies as she moves swiftly upstairs to see Roy and Nina sitting at the table play chess together

"Carla?" Nina raises an eyebrow as Carla rolls her eyes, going over to the filing cabinet and rummaging through it meticulously, loading thing out onto the sofa

"Ugh, where is it!" Carla groans in annoyance as Roy walks over

"Carla, whatever is the matter, I thought you took everything with you?" Roy questions curtly as Carla glances up at him grabbing one of the lever arch files and rummaging through the contents of it before realising what she was looking for wasn’t there, then moving onto the next, then the one after that, her attempts proving fruitless, she sat on the armchair closing her eyes trying to remember

"Maybe I did, I don’t know I thought I left a file in here that's all, mind if look in your room Nina?" Carla questions as Nina nods gesturing for her to follow her into the spare room, Carla rummaging through the draws but nothing, then something sparked her memory

"Help me move this" Carla gestures to the wardrobe, Nina raising an eyebrow helping Carla move the wardrobe, and there it was the stapled piece of paper she was looking for

"Ta Nina" Carla smiles slightly leaving the flat in one swift motion leaving both Roy and Nina perplexed, Carla armed with her stapled piece of paper which would no doubt dictate the future, there was no way Peter would get hold of this, he couldn’t, not now she had a chance to dispose of it


	3. Don't Say A Word

With her trusty piece of paper firmly in her hand she had to get out of Roy's before anyone asked questions about it, she walked away from the street and into the surrounding areas of Weatherfield, she sat on a park bench reading her piece of paper she knew she had but didn’t remember placing behind the wardrobe, and then it was the wardrobe which sparked the memories for her, more so now than before due to Peter harassing her about the 'mystery money', she set upon reading it carefully and precisely knowing that this could cause further implications in the future.

*****  
CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT

Due to the terms of the arrangement which we have discussed prior to making this agreement the employer of the Riverlands Hotel and Miss Carla Donovan have come to a decision in relation to the events which occurred on the week beginning 22.04.2019.

On the evening of the 26.04.2019, Miss Donovan was taken to the Riverlands Hotel by one of the members of staff who wanted to remain anonymous during the creation of this document. It must be stressed that Miss Donovan was happy for the other party to remain anonymous. It was brought to our attention that the employer of the Riverlands hotel had sexual intercourse with Miss Carla Donovan which both parties agreed to.

Riverlands Hotel have advised Miss Donovan that as a company, they do not take responsibility for the actions which went on between Miss Donovan and our employer during her stay on our premises and if Miss Donovan was to breach this confidentiality agreement then she would not get the sum of £100,000 ,which she had requested, in due course. If she were to breach the agreement after receiving the sum of £100,000 then her assets would be seized.

All information in regarding the claims in this agreement are listed below:

i) The other party, who asked to remain anonymous under the pretences of promising Miss Donovan a cash sum of £100,000 which would be followed up after this agreement was signed and who was an employer of the Riverlands hotel, as well as other various hotels within Manchester and the surrounding areas.   
ii) The other party also refrained Miss Donovan in a contract which will be followed up when she left the premises regarding the £100,000 pay out she would receive some time before the start 2020, this was to give time for the other party to retain the value she wanted in cash.   
iii) Another implication was the fact that Miss Donovan also asked for another contract to be created in relation to this contract which will not be discussed above due to the confidentiality of Miss Donovan's health care, it must be stressed that both parties need to sign that contract for this agreement of confidentiality to be approved, if not signed, this agreement will be dissolved.  
iv) It was important to stress that the details of this agreement are to remain confidential between the two parties.

The terms of this agreement must remain in the interest of the parties involved and must not be expressed to any third-party individuals. As part of this agreement both parties must sign below,

*****

"Damn it Carla" she scolds herself as her phone rings, bringing it out of her pocket seeing Peter's name pop up on the screen, she sighed, she knew she was right over a barrel with this one, she couldn’t believe even in the grips of psychosis she did something so naïve and stupid and well put together

She decided she would just head home, stuffing the confidentiality agreement into her pocket, she headed off, Peter could not know about this, he spent months trying to protect her when she was ill, it was her turn to protect him from the consequences of her illness

"There you are!" Peter calls from across the road receiving an eye roll from her as he runs over to her, bringing her into a hug and showering her with kisses of affection

"Get off me" she huffs not liking the very public display of affection she was receiving, Peter smirking

"Where did you go, Roy said you popped by and then left again?"

"Yeah" she mumbles, her eyes downcast, panic starting to rise within her "I just needed some air"

"He also said you left with a piece of paper that Nina said you found behind your wardrobe?" Peter quizzes her as she sighs annoyed at the situation, the constant questioning really doing her head in and the fact that Roy and Nina told Peter about the piece of paper she had currently stuffed in her pocket, it didn’t really feel like he was going to give up that easily

"What piece of paper?" she questions as Peter groans in response, more lies coming out of her mouth

"Stop lying Carla, you left with a piece of paper, you have two witnesses, why are you doing this?" Peter exclaims in exasperation as Carla grunts in response shaking her head unamused, storming off towards the Rover's to get some peace and quiet from Peter's accusations 

"Carla!" Peter calls after her, but she was off, she wasn’t going to return any time soon, Carla going around the back, sitting down in the beer garden grabbing her phone out and scrolling through the numbers selecting Michelle's number and giving her a ring

"'Chelle, everything's ruined" Carla cries down the phone as Michelle sighs audibly through the receiver 

"What? What's Peter done?" she assumes as Carla cries some more

"It wasn’t him, it was me…I did… something…" Carla panics as Michelle sighs again, not really knowing what to say about the situation

"Ok, what did you do then?" Michelle questions gently knowing that Carla could bite her head off over the situation, even though the situation intrigued Michelle more than she was letting on

"I slept with someone"

"What? You cheated on Peter? Is this a sick joke?" Michelle questions incredulously as Carla groans in response, of course, Michelle would think she was joking, Carla loved Peter more than her heart would allow it, so why should she cheat?

"I don’t know 'Chelle" Carla cries grabbing the piece of paper out of her pocket, the phone pressed to her ear using her shoulder as she glances through the confidentiality agreement just in case she missed anything 

"Ok slow down, what happened, from the beginning"? Michelle questions as Carla sighs closing her eyes trying to think of what happened on that night 

"I-I don’t know"

"What do you mean you don’t know Carla? How do you not know who you slept with, unless…oh no…you didn’t do something when you were ill did you?" Michelle asks gently as Carla clamps her eyes shut trying to remember anything it was like her mind needed a prompt to remember like when looking through the files in Roy's flat, that prompted her to remember hiding the agreement behind the wardrobe in her room as well as the wardrobe itself being a trigger, maybe she just needed something to prompt it into figuring out what happened that night

"I don’t know how to describe it 'Chelle" she pauses to think of a way to explain what she saw in her head, a flickering dim light in the back of her mind "When I shut my eyes and try to remember just random images flood into my mind, from when I disappeared, gaps missing and none of them making any sense at all, I don’t know what to do"

"Ok, take a breath darlin' try not to get worked up about it. You need to speak to Scott or Peter about this sweetheart, it's not right that they're being left out the loop of everything-"

"I can't"

"You can sweetheart, I'll be here to support you, I'll even come back for a bit if you want to help you pick up the pieces"

"No Michelle, you don’t understand, I signed an agreement!" Carla exclaims tearfully reaching the end of her tether as Michelle groans in response, Carla's problems adding up one by one if she did actually sign an agreement

"What do you mean you signed an agreement?"

"I shouldn’t have said that, look it doesn’t matter yeah?"

"No, Carla. What agreement?" Michelle questions gently ensuring she doesn’t aggravate Carla any more than what's needed, she wanted to support her but she needed all the details to be able to do that and do it well for that matter

"I shouldn’t have said anything…" Carla sighs knowing that Michelle definitely wouldn’t stop with her questions now, Carla knew she would either have to say it to her or say it to Peter

"Tell me otherwise I ring Peter" 

"Michelle! Ugh I knew this was a mistake"

"You obviously wanted to get it off your chest, so go on tell me" Michelle prompts her as Carla sighs playing with the piece of paper she had in her hands, she glanced down at the words, the ever so confusing words which were displayed in the generic professional font

So Carla took a breath and read out the contract…

"If I'm being honest with you-"

"I'm over a barrel 'Chelle, I know, there's no way out, I have to accept it for what it as and deal with it" Carla sighs wiping her eyes which were red raw with tears, she wished this nightmare which only just begun would just end already

"You were ill Carla, you could appeal this probably and dissolve it, you would just have to prove you weren't sound of mind or something-"

"Or I could go to a solicitor and they would be classed as a third party in this mess and get Ken's house seized Michelle, I don’t know what to do for the best"

"Ok, yes, that's true, but you were in no fit state to agree to sexual intercourse Carla, it could basically be classified as rape you know" Michelle sighs as Carla groans biting her lip knowing Michelle was right, it could be classed as rape and she was in no fit state to agree to anything at the time it happened, but she did at the time, she wouldn’t cheat on Peter not unless there was something wrong with her mentally, but at the time, she thought everyone was the enemy

"I know, why do you think they did the agreement?" Carla snaps starting to get annoyed with Michelle trying to help her find a way out, when to her there was no obvious way out from someone who had spent years in business as well as reading through copious amount of contracts in her time, she was convinced she had the knowledge to insist she was over a barrel

"To protect themselves for when you were better, they obviously realised you were ill sweetheart and probably thought you could go back and sue this person for sexual assault probably, they tied you in pretty well-"

"I know that" she snaps "I know….I just don’t know what to do"

"Do you want me to tell you because I think it's pretty obvious?"

"Please inform me of something I probably already know" Carla mutters folding the piece of paper up and placing it in the pocket of her jacket 

"Speak to Peter, he needs to know darlin', especially if you were raped"

"I wasn't raped 'Chelle! I agreed to it!"

"You're in denial Carla. I'm not going to say the same thing to you again because you're only going to get more annoyed than you already are, but please speak to Peter, then ring me once you've done it"

"He's going to be so mad with me, and with whoever I slept with as well Michelle, how do I even break his heart when he was so happy about getting me all to himself with the house an' all that without any interruptions?"

"In my eyes Carla, if you really love him and he really loves you, you will both find a way to get through this together, he would want to help you Carla, he's seen you at your worst on so many occasions and right now, I think the right thing to do is just to tell him what happened and what you do remember, maybe get a notepad and write down everything you remember from that period where you went missing that way maybe you can both work together to piece it all together, but at the end of the day, take it from someone who knows, do not pass off opportunities to talk about something bad until it festers into more"

"Can I ask you a question 'Chelle?"

"Mhm, shoot"

"When did you get so philosophical?"

"Funny, well living with my parents has that effect on me I guess, go and speak to him, Carla"

"Thanks for everything 'Chelle, don’t be a stranger eh?"

"I won't, bye Carla"

Carla took a breath of relief after speaking to Michelle, after all, she had been there herself and in this present time Carla really did need to speak to Peter about everything, she just didn’t know how to go about doing it…


	4. Sinful Desire

Carla approached Number one in a bundle of nerves, she was very hesitant to enter especially as she stormed away from Peter, she sighed when shoving her key in the door knowing that he would most likely be fuming at her for the lies that just kept flowing out her mouth recently or the fact that she stored off earlier not willing to give him the time of day. 

Peter's ears pricked up when he heard the key through the door, he knew it wasn’t Simon, he was studying in his room. So he got his plan ready, he made Carla and apologetic dinner knowing that maybe he was a little hasty when it came to interrogating her over the £100,000 she invested into the property, and knowing that she could revert back into the influences of her inner turmoil, he didn’t want to come across too harsh with her.

"Just in time" Peter beams placing the casserole dish on the table; a single red rose on it, a knife and fork for both of them as well as a placemat which contained a preheated plate on it

"What…I don’t deserve this, not after I've been so moody with you?"

"Carla can we please just forget about it?"

"Peter I-"

"Carla, I'm willing to forget about it, I don’t want to fall out with you-"

"Peter! Please just listen!" Carla exclaims as Peter raises an eyebrow at her outburst before she rubs her forehead in exasperation,

"Ok, I'm listening" he sighs as Carla closes her eyes not really knowing how to start this conversation she was about to have, how do you tell someone you cheated on them?

"Before I say what I'm about to say, I'm sorry"

"Carla whatever it is it can't be that bad-"

"Oh trust me, this really takes the biscuit" she mutters shoving her hand into her pocket pulling out the confidentiality agreement, Peter sighing, he knew Roy and Nina weren't lying, and here was the proof of that

"I need you to trust me you're going to remain calm ok?"

"Ok"

"Right, here goes nothing…" she hands him the paper as they sit at the table, Carla picking away at her plate of casserole, all of a sudden food didn’t seem so important or appetising 

So Peter read the agreement…

"Peter, what are you doing…?" Carla questions watching him storm into the kitchen and getting a lighter

"No! Don’t! We could appeal it or something don’t Peter!" Carla shouts grabbing his wrist as he slams his lighter back down onto the kitchen cabinets causing Carla to flinch, Peter grabbing his jacket and heading off in a rage leaving Carla to deal with the confusion of the whole situation

"What happened?" Simon questions coming out of his room having heard the whole commotion, with a sigh, as Carla closes her eyes in response, it wasn’t fair on him

"Nothing Si, don’t worry" Carla stuffs the confidentiality agreement into her pocket

"Is that casserole?" Simon laughs as Carla smiles slightly, her heart still racing wondering where Peter had gone to

"Yeah, your dad made it"

"Dad made casserole? He must really love you" Simon sniggers as Carla rolls her eyes, Simon picking up a bit of the garlic bread which was there and taking a bite

"Shouldn’t you be studying anyway?" Carla grins as Simon rolls his eyes

"I have you know, I've been studying every day this week, I think I deserve a break, I'll even show you my revision notes if you don’t believe me" Simon raises his eyebrows as Carla laughs at the fact no one would believe him

"You're going to go far kid" 

"I don't think so, but we'll see I guess. So then why did you argue?"

"Y-you heard all that?" Carla gulps wondering how she's going to explain herself out of this one to make sure it doesn't worry Simon, yes he was older now but she didn’t want to inflict any more stress onto him, studying for his a-level's was stressful enough

"I sure did, I'm surprised next door at the Rover's did hear to be honest with ya" he grins as Carla sits at the table with him sighing in the process

"Were we really that loud?"

"I was just joking" Simon sniggers "But seriously, dad loves you more than he loves himself probably, he'll be back, he's probably just gone for a walk to clear his head"

"Maybe, well I hope so…"

Peter decided to visit his dad at the retirement village knowing he needed to speak to someone who wasn’t in relation to Carla. He just needed a second opinion on the situation but then he remembered the terms of the agreement Carla had, no one could know and it was that which scared him. Peter headed to the community gardens and sat down to try and clear his head and make sense of it all. Carla was over a barrel there was no doubt about it, but at this point of time he couldn’t blame her, she was ill, she didn’t know what she was doing and the memories surrounding her illness were hazy for her but he needed to know, he needed to know who she slept with he wouldn’t rest until he found out and at this point in time did it really matter, Carla was alive and well but he couldn’t help think that something more sinister happened. This was classed as rape, it had to be, she was out of her mind when it happened and in no position to agree to consensual sexual intercourse. He decided to go back home…

"Oh, so you're back then?" Carla peers up from her magazine that she was reading, the latest edition of Vogue, her trusty marker circling items she wanted but didn’t need

"I am"

"Well this is awkward isn't it?" Carla mutters as Peter sighs sitting down beside her putting an arm around her shoulders kissing the side of her head as she raises an eyebrow

"Ave you 'ad a blow to the head or summat?" 

"No, I just took time out to think that's all" Peter smiles slightly a Carla sighs turning to face him, her eyes downcast to her lap, Carla fiddling with her hands not wanting to look into Peter's eyes knowing that they would reveal the truth about what he was thinking

"And have you thought?"

"I have and I am willing to accept what you want to do about it"

"Wow, ok? I thought you were going to force me to appeal it to be honest with you" Carla sighs as Peter nods slowly, he really did want her to appeal it but right now? It didn’t matter, it was ages ago and he doubted Carla would remember anything

"I won't force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I do have a few questions as you can imagine"

"Understandable, so then, what are these questions?" she gulps her anxiety increasing by the minute wondering what questions would come out of Peter's mouth, and if she would be able to answer them

"Did you intend to sleep with someone?"

"Honestly, at the time, yes. I wanted to forget everything my mind was going through, I thought I was a bad person and that I didn’t deserve to be loved so I wanted someone to love me and I guess I saw as having sex was the only way to make me feel love"

"Oh Carla, why did this happen eh?"

"I don’t know Peter, but I am sorry" she hugs him as he strokes her hair kissing her head gently wanting her to feel loved. It hurt him when she says she wasn’t loved when there were so many people at the time who loved her more than the world and the fact she went out of her way and put herself in a dangerous situation to feel freedom from the prison of her mind, it cut deep

"I have one more question, if that's ok?"

"Yeah, you deserve it after everything I put you through…"

"Ok well, you know the third point, when it said about the other contract, do you know what that is or…?"

"Do we have to get into that?" she replies anxiously as Peter raises an eyebrow, this comment rousing his suspicions slightly

"Kind of yes, look you've told me this, surely it can't get much worse right?"

"I guess" she mutters unconvincingly before rubbing her head in exasperation

"So…do you know where it is?" 

"Not a clue to be honest with ya, I wish I did though then maybe we could put this mess behind us" 

"How did you remember where this one was?" he gestures to the piece of paper which Carla was fiddling around with her hands as she smiles slightly

"I don’t know really, when we looked at my account that kind of triggered something off but in reality I kind of remember being given the agreement, I don’t remember where I put the other one, the only thing I remember is that I had them both in Roy's flat, you know before I was admitted to hospital that time but I have no clue where it could be I mean I looked through the files and stuff but nothing made me remember where it was"

"But it must exist though right? Otherwise, this isn't viable as an agreement"

"Oh I know it does but I just don’t know where it is, that's all" she shrugs as Peter sighs, he needed to read this other agreement because it may release her from the confidentiality one, he needed to help her remember

"Right, I know what we're doing" Peter grins as Carla raises an eyebrow, Peter grabbing a fresh notepad and a pen handing it to Carla

"Do we have to Peter, this is going to kill my brain" she groans in response as Peter sighs

"I'm only doing this in case this clause or whatever you call it is a lasting implication on your health, I'm only doing it because I care about you and our future, we don’t have to do it all in one go, I'll be here to help you try and remember" 

"Alright fine, we'll play the 'remembering game' then, how hard can it be?"


	5. The Remembering Game

"How do you want to go about doing this then? " Carla questions as Peter sighs not really knowing, maybe starting from the beginning was the best idea right now

"Let's start from when you left the medical centre that day?"

"Alright well what I remember is…"

*****

12th April 2019 

Scared was the only way to describe it, the low buzz in the back of her mind, the mingled sound of the voices of her demons she needed to go, she couldn’t trust anyone and at that point, she only thought going back to the roots was the only thing she could do to make the situation better. After escaping the clutches of Toyah Battersby and Peter Barlow she was off to find peace in her mind and soul, she needed to get away and she wouldn’t do it without a fight.

She got a bus to her local estate, wandering around with her now-signature dishevelled look causing obvious stares from the people who meant so little to her as well as the people chanting trivial nonsense in her head that she tried to block out every hour of the day. She sighed when approaching the familiar building which was etched in memories in the back of her mind, the generic council estate her thoughts were interrupted by the rustling of bushes in the distance, she approached in trepidation which alerted the bearded man to her ragged and dirty clothes.

She approached the back door and that was when she entered the derelict squat, people doing drugs, graffiti on the walls this was pretty accurate for areas like this even back in the day when she was an innocent child. They welcomed her with open arms, the leery men who were watching her like carnivorous animals in need for their next feed, she handed them a wad of cash, enough to buy heroin or any other class A drug they could afford with it, and that was it she was upstairs and that was where she stayed, making herself at home the best she could…

*****

"This wad of cash and staying upstairs, the drugs" Carla sighs writing it down on the piece of paper not able to put a date to it

"Ok that's good, we can stop if you want, any time Carla, I don’t want to push it with you" Peter smiles rubbing her back affectionate as Carla turns over to the next page ready to begin writing again, she just wanted to get it over and done with

"No, I want to find this contract, Peter. I need to know what happened for closure that way we can move on with our lives"

"Ok, that's fine, do you remember anything else?"

"There was that day you came looking for me it rings bells but I don’t know, let me think…"

*****

26th April 2019 

Two weeks, it had been two weeks since she arrived here. Carla had been offered various drugs but she would never go there, as well as the men staring her down constantly and then there was a raid, these were normal in these areas in Manchester especially run-down council estates, she hid upstairs quietly ensuring the deteriorating walk-in wardrobe door was open just enough so she could listen intently on the conversations going on downstairs.

It was Peter, and Johnny, her heart started racing, the recognition sparking fear in her body, Rana would find her and take her away, she needed to get away but the safest thing to do was to wait it out. She heard shouting, so much shouting but being upstairs she was hardly in a position to depict what was going on below her and then it went silent, she stepped out of the wardrobe glancing briefly out of the window seeing Peter and Johnny getting into the car, she headed downstairs, greeted with one of the squatters.

"You need to go"

"I know" she pauses "it's not safe anymore"

And that was that she was off, she walked around the estate and a man with a red car pulled up beside her as she took a breather on a park bench, he got out and smiled, she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He sat down beside her, she shuffled away not liking the attention that was being brought to herself.

"Hey it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you"

She narrows her eyes, feeling sceptical about the whole thing still

"I can take you somewhere, treat you to some food if you want?"

"Why are you doing this?" she whispers glancing to him briefly, his rugged beard and silver fox appearance causing her to smile slightly, someone being so gentle with her when she felt so lost, it made her smile

"Because I think you need cheering up, you seem kind of down, that's all, come on let me treat you to a meal or something at my place of work, they would be willing to accommodate you if you want?"

"Alright then, I guess it saves me from sleeping the streets" she shrugs as he leads her into the car, she straps herself into the passenger seat revelling in the fact she could trust this man, he made her feel safe and he didn’t judge her for looking a mess.

They arrived at the Riverlands Hotel, he booked her a room, she smiled at his generosity someone being nice to her was a welcomed thing in her life right now, her paranoia and anxieties seemed to just sizzle away and she could smile for the first time in a while. He put an arm around her middle and led her up the stairs into the room, she glanced around the furnished setting in front of her, she placed her handbag down on the bed

"So what do you want to eat?" 

He hands her a menu

"A-Are you sure about this?"

"More than, choose something, it's on the house, I mean I do own the place"

"Alright then, the carbonara?"

"I'll ring down, you get comfortable, have a shower if you want" 

"I'm fine, ta. I would prefer if you stayed" Carla smiles slightly as the man smiles at her sitting beside her on the bed taking her hand in his running his thumb over the soft skin of the back of her hand, Carla looking up into the innocent eyes of this stranger, he leans forward capturing her lips onto his, she moves a hand to his hair, he does the same to her, Carla pushing him down onto the bed, the rest was history…

*****

"No! We need to stop, no!" Carla cries chucking the notepad across the room along with the pen, Peter wrapping her up in a hug to control her sobs

"Ok, ok we'll stop, it's alright, I'm here" Peter reassures her as she cries grabbing on his shirt Peter stroking her hair as she cries uncontrollably

"Don’t ever make me do that again" she shouts as Peter nods in agreement at her distraught persona, Carla pulling him in close to her as her heart rate steadies down into a more bearable rhythm as Peter hums into her hair

"I'm sorry, baby" 

"I know you are, I know, we'll speak about it ok but just not now" 

"I don’t want to upset you further, we can do this tomorrow darlin'" Peter sighs swaying her in his arms as she cries some more, he knew deep down it was a bad thing to do, he knew that she would be traumatised by the darkest period in her life, but deep down, no matter how selfish it sounded he needed to know what happened to her

"Can we just chill for a bit then continue later on?" she replies hesitantly as Peter nods slowly in agreement knowing that when she was determined to do something it had to be done, he continued to sway her in his arms

"Come on, let's sit on the sofa eh?" Peter smiles as Carla nods letting Peter lead her over to the sofa, pulling her into his embrace as he runs a hand up and down her back to comfort her a bit more as her breathing regulates, Peter allowing her to drift off to sleep on his chest hoping that she wasn’t thinking about what just happened in the room moments prior


	6. The Hurt of a Loved One

"Hmm morning, love" Peter smiles as Carla nuzzles into his body, Peter stroking her hair as she smiles slightly at how much he was trying to make her forget about all the issues in their lives right now

"Mornin', about yesterday…"

"We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I understand if it was traumatic for you and you don’t want to relive it"

"Peter I promise you I will tell you if I want to stop but right now I feel more than strong enough to be able to continue where we left off yesterday" she promises as Peter sighs, he was in no position to deny her from expressing her feelings but right now he did have to question himself whether this was right considering what happened yesterday

"As long as you're sure, shall I get the notebook then?"

"Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind" she smiles as Peter kisses her forehead collecting the confidentiality agreement which was downstairs along with the notepad and pen they were using yesterday and returning upstairs

"It's snowing outside" Peter laughs slightly as Carla gets up to look out of the window smiling at the delicate white flakes which were falling gracefully from the sky, Peter wrapping an arm around her shoulders

"Hmm snow is so pretty"

"Like you then" 

"Cringe" she sighs taking the notepad and pen along with the confidentiality agreement and getting back into bed, Peter getting in as well pulling her close as she reads through what she wrote yesterday

"I don't understand any of this at all, none of it makes sense, the wads of cash at that house, the drugs? Like that does but I don’t get how I went from there to the hotel?"

"Ok, what happened at the hotel then?"

"There was this man he gave me food" she states as Peter sighs stroking her head as she tried to remember everything but her mind just kept flitting to random images from that week

"Alright sweetheart, we don’t have to continue if you can't remember"

"I need like a prompt, like in Roy's flat it was the files then the wardrobe, I need something to remember it, you know"

"We can go to the hotel if you want maybe then you'll remember something?" Peter questions as Carla nods sliding out of bed, placing her notepad and pen in her bag as well as grabbing some clothes to get changed, Peter doing the same

"Why don’t we stop off for some brekkie at Roy's, Car?"

"No I just want to get this over and done with" she sighs wrapping her arms around his neck, Peter leading her out to his car as they drive to the hotel, Peter parking in the car park

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah it's just weird being back here, it's like I remember it but I don’t" she smiles slightly as Peter takes her hand leading her to the door of the hotel watching her facial expression change, tears filling her eyes

"You ok?" Peter questions not wanting to push anything 

"Robert" Carla whispers as Peter raises an eyebrow in confusion, Peter bringing her into a hug as she closes her eyes trying to remember

"Where darlin', where was Robert?"

"He found me, I remember, he was there out to get me" she states dragging Peter to the side of the hotel gesturing to the wall

"Here, sitting next to me, he put me in the van, I remember!" she beams as Peter nods slowly not really knowing what to say, he didn’t want to deny her the opportunity to express her memories but this really wasn’t relevant to what they were trying to find out 

"Why don’t we go back into the hotel, it might help trigger your memories or something?" Peter offers his hand out to her as she smiles stopping in her tracks glancing to the park, Peter trying to pull her away

"Stop"

"What?"

"I think I know…I think I do, I know, Peter…we need to go to Roy's, we have to go to Roy's!" she exclaims as the memories fill her mind Peter raising his eyebrows wondering if she was just saying this to avoid going into the hotel, he sighed

"Look Car…I think we should just go into the lobby just in case anything else happens which makes you remember?"

"Ok, fine but I'm pretty sure I know where the contract is…" she smiles slightly taking Peter's hand and leading him into the lobby of the hotel which made her feel rather uncomfortable, she clutched onto Peter's hand albeit a little tighter as her eyes glazed over, she brought a hand up to her mouth 

"Ok, let's go, this isn't good for you"

"No" she whispers in disbelief glancing to the door of the kitchen she remembered so well all of a sudden, her eyes glazing over, tears trailing down her face, someone stepping out of the door of the kitchen, someone so similar in Carla's mind, Carla bolting for the exit wanting to get out of there, Peter rushing out and holding her close as she cries, Peter leading her to the car

"What happened? Speak to me"

"No" 

"Ok, we won't talk, do you still want to go to Roy's?"

"Yes"

"Ok then we'll go to Roy's"

Carla didn’t say much on the car journey home, the door of the kitchen of the Riverland's hotel parking too many memories for her as well as the person coming out of the door, she was scared and felt very uncomfortable about the situation and her heart started racing but she needed to find this contract to make sure that if he and Peter were able to appeal this. She sighed as Peter pulled the car up alongside Number One, Carla getting out and making a beeline to Roy's opening the door of the café.

"Carla?" Roy questions as Carla sighs rubbing her head in exasperation, Peter appearing behind her

"Hi Roy, um can we talk? Preferably in private?"

"S-Sure, come with me…" he says leaving Aggie in charge allowing Carla and Peter to go upstairs with Peter, the nerves setting in

"So what do I owe this pleasure?" Roy smiles boiling the kettle as Carla sighs stretching her arms across the table closing her eyes not really knowing where to begin

"So you know when I ran away…I did something…well I did a lot of things but…I basically cheated on Peter"

"When you were ill?" he confirms as Carla nods slowly

"Yes"

"Right…so you had sexual intercourse when you were ill, then you weren't able to say rightly whether you wanted to or not, if I am right then I that would class as rape, Carla"

"It wasn’t rape" Carla mutters as Peter sighs glancing to Roy, it was obvious that Carla was in denial about the situation

"You're in denial-"

"Please just listen to me Roy" Carla groans in response as Peter sighs rubbing her back affectionately "I need to look for this piece of paper, it's got to be here somewhere, not the one I left with, I can't tell you what it is but I need to find it"

"Carla, I don’t like you lying to me"

"I'm not!"

"She's not Roy, she can't tell you for legal reasons" Peter reassures him as Roy nods politely Carla resting her head on the table

"Please Roy?"

"Ok, fine, I will be downstairs if you need me," Roy says, leaving the flat allowing Peter and Carla to search for the second contract in peace

"Where do you want to begin then?"

"Let me think" she closes her eyes as Peter smiles at her bringing her into his embrace swaying her side to side gently, Carla clicking the radio off so she could focus, going over to the filing cabinet pulling out the files

"It's got to be here," Carla says convinced as Peter nods slowly helping her go through the files "I remember the files it's so prominent but nothing after" 

"Ok we'll have a look try not to get yourself worked up about it" Peter smiles kissing her forehead as she smiles slightly going through every plastic wallet containing various different types of documents such as bills, legal documents but none of them the contract Carla needed to find

"Let me rethink, so I think I came in, I looked for somewhere to hide the confidentiality agreement in the files but then I'm guessing there wasn’t space in the folder so I went into my room-" Carla goes into her room looking at the wardrobe "-I stuffed it behind the wardrobe, I must've had the other agreement with me right?"

"I don’t know love, maybe?"

"I must have, if I managed to put that flamin' agreement together when I was out of my mind I doubt I would've forgotten about it"

"I don’t want to rip up Nina's room so we'll have to wait for her to come back before we look but I doubt it's here to be honest with you although it must be, I'm so confused"

"Right, let's just take a breather again shall we?"

"Yeah? Are you treating me to a meal?"

"Hmm as you've been good I guess we could stretch to a meal? The bistro?" Peter questions as Carla grins excitedly clapping her hands like a little kid

"Hmm let's head home and get ready" Carla grins as Peter nods slowly taking her hands and leading her to the front door of number one allowing her to go in allowing them to both get ready for the meal


	7. Music To My Ears

"Woah!" Peter gasps as Carla saunters down the stairs of number one in a tight-fitting knee-length black dress, Peter instantly wrapping his arms around her neck placing a smouldering kiss onto her lips

"You like it then?"

"Like it? Carla, you look amazing"

"Hmm good maybe I'll let you take it off me later" she winks as Peter smirks, Carla grabbing her bag, Peter handing her the leather jacket which may as well be glued onto her as they walk arm in arm to the bistro

"Hi, Faye, table for two?" Peter questions as Faye smiles grabbing two menus and heading over to a secluded table in the corner, both Carla and Peter taking a seat allowing Faye to set the menus down for them

"Can I interest you in the specials?"

"We're alright thanks Faye"

"I'll leave you to mull over the drinks menu, beckon me over when you've chosen" Faye grins as Carla smiles at Peter as they look at the drinks menu, Carla settling on a glass of lemonade and Peter on a diet coke

"Hmm, what are you having to eat then?" Carla questions as Peter sighs in response looking through the menu deciding on the regular t-bone steak with chips

"Umm I'll have the t-bone steak, what about you?"

"I'll have the carbonara" Carla grins as Peter smirks at her placing the menus in the holder, beckoning Faye over

"We'll have a glass of lemonade, a diet coke as well as the carbonara and t-bone steak" Peter informs her as she writes it down on her jotter

"Would you like any sauces with your meals?"

"No we should be ok I think?" Peter throws a look towards Carla who nods in agreement, Faye smiling and heading off to place the order

"Thanks for this, baby. You really didn’t have to especially with how moody I've been" Carla smiles as Peter takes her hand planting a kiss on it gently as Faye comes over with their meals

"The carbonara?"

"Here" Carla smiles as Faye places it on the placemat in front of her

"You must be the t-bone steak" Faye grins placing it in front of Peter "Enjoy your meals"

"Hmm this looks lovely" Peter smirks as Carla laughs slightly twizzling the tagliatelle around her fork, raising it to her lips and taking a bite of the consistence, she remembered how similar this tasted to something she had before, it pinged something off in her mind she just didn’t know what, leaving Peter to prompt her out of her trance

"Carla?"

He received no answer…

"Carla!"

"What? Oh sorry…I was just…sorry" she mumbles as Peter raises an eyebrow taking her spare hand into his giving it a squeeze

"You were what darlin'?"

"This I've had this before" she gestures to her meal as Peter frowns confused, of course she had it before, they had been to the bistro a number of times before

"Sweetheart just relax ok, you're thinking way too much into things, let's just forget about everything that’s happened over the last few days eh?"

"Yeah, you're right" she mumbles downcast to her plate, spooning another forkful into her mouth smiling at the delicious consistency of her carbonara, as a new song comes on the stereo, Carla raising an eyebrow at the familiarity of the situation

***

I've waited hours for this  
I've made myself so sick

His body was on hers, it was like she was trapped underneath a demon of her former self, she sighed in what she thought was lust but in reality it was just raw sex, the need to feel indifferent from her tortured mind and to feel loved, she wanted the horrible feelings to leave her

I wish I'd stayed asleep today  
I never thought this day would end

All she wanted was to sleep, she didn’t feel dirty, she wanted to feel alive, feel the burn of passion and love, but in reality it was just rebounding from the hate of her inner soul, and when it was over all she could do was pray it fixed her problems

I never thought tonight could ever be  
This close to me

Thinking about it, it was close to her, very close, more so on different levels, she smiled at the end of it at this man who had owned her body instead of her owning it herself, it made her feel alive but then the hatred sunk in again, it would never go away

*****

"Are you sure you're alright, love? You've barely touched that" Peter sighs taking her hand as she smiles as well as she could, given the current predicament, Peter accepting this as a positive, only if he could see the pain hidden beneath

"I'm fine, promise" she lied, she doesn’t know why, well she does, she just didn’t want to cause unnecessary pain right now, she just wanted to be happy, to live her life in the moment without the overhanging doom of her mental health threatening to ruin everything

"Alright, what do you want as a dessert?" Peter questions as Carla goes off into another trance…

*****

Just try to see in the dark  
Just try to make it work

That dark and empty room her innocent frame shackled up in the emptiness of her brain, she thought back to the feelings of what just happened and she felt dirty and then she remembered something ever so sinister, she needed to wait it out, wait it out so that she could get rid of the evidence to get rid of the pain and hope that no one came looking for her

To feel the fear before you're here  
I make the shapes come much too close

She was scared, he could see that, this man. She got into his car, his bright red car and they drove off together, it was better than staying in a rundown squat on the council estate she grew up on, those memories clouding her into thinking she was Carla Donovan, that troubled child everyone saw her for.

I pull my eyes out, hold my breath and wait  
Until I sha-ha-ha-hake

She wanted her eyes closed in the midst of everything, she was scared, scared of what she liked to call her 'happy self' coming through to put a smile on her face, she wanted to be punished for everything which happened to her, she needed the punishment and that was when he made her cry out, her body shaking profusely under his

*****

"I'm just going to pop to the loo" Carla smiles as Peter nods slowly allowing Carla to go to the toilet, she locked herself in the cubicle and listened to the words of the song again, and that was when she remembered, the lyrics to the song, the man who 'raped' her played this song after he had sex with her as they ate their food, the carbonara, it all made sense she ordered the carbonara, she dialled Michelle's number

"'Chelle"

"Carla, did you speak to Peter, I was getting worried" Michelle laments down the phone

"Yeah I did, um he took it as well as he could, he's trying to help me figure out what happened that night" Carla informs her as Michelle sighs again wondering how Carla got in this predicament 

"That's good isn't it?"

"Yeah I guess but, I don’t know like I said to you I remember things which happened but we're trying to find the other contract right now"

"I'm guessing you don’t remember where you placed it. Have you checked Roy's?"

"Twice over"

"Hmm did you go back to the hotel, I know it would probably be a long shot but it might be worth a try?" Michelle suggests as Carla sighs not wanting to go back there, it made her feel rather uncomfortable

"I stood in the lobby, and the door to the kitchen triggered something and that's when this man walked out, I don’t know I recognised him but-"

"Carla! Are you ok?" Peter questions poking his head around the door as she sighs

"I've got to go" she whispers ending the call and stepping out to face Peter who sighs at her smudged mascara Peter who sighs at her dishevelled appearance bringing her in for a hug

"I paid for the meal so we can just grab our stuff and head home, I thought this was a bit too soon for you after everything" Peter smiles giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, leading her out of the toilets to collect her stuff so they could go home, Peter linking his arm with Carla as he walks her home

"Sorry I didn’t say anything" 

"It's alright, I can't force you to say things can I?"

"I guess not no" Carla smiles as Peter nods slowly taking her hands into his as she dips her head to look at the floor

"How about leaving it for tonight? We can continue to figure out this mystery tomorrow?"

"Yeah, maybe, I'm pretty tired anyway" she smiles kissing him on the forehead, taking Peter by the hand and leading him upstairs 

Waking in a cold sweat the next morning, Carla sighed when glancing to the alarm clock beside her reading the numbers which suggested to her she needed to figure this out so she could have a peaceful night sleep. She grabbed her phone then her robe and headed downstairs curling up on the armchair with a blanket and coffee, she went onto YouTube and played the song which was playing in the bistro the evening prior, she grabbed her notepad as well. The words were flowing freely onto the page as she wrote and that was when she remembered the events of the 27th April 2019.

*****

27th April 2019

Waking up next to a stranger seemed better than waking up alone in a dark and dingy squat. She smiled slightly turning onto her back to stare up at the cream coloured ceiling, images playing like an encrypted screen in front of her as they cascade over the ceiling, she glanced to her phone which was on the bedside cabinet, she picked it up and she looked at the date, she sighed.

"Morning"

"Yeah" Carla mumbles slightly as she's pulled inwards towards his body 

"Last night was fun" 

"I guess so" she replies cryptically, the man raising his eyebrows in response noticing her ragged appearance and no set of spare clothes, he slid out of bed and grabbed a robe for both of them, clicking on the stereo on

"Thanks" Carla replies offering a quick glance into his eyes before turning away to avoid his gaze, her heart started racing for no reason, a horrible feeling brewing in the bottom of her stomach 

"No problem, if you don’t mind me asking…you are ok?"

"What do you mean?" she narrows her eyes suspiciously, then she remembered Rana, maybe Rana got to him, maybe he knew where Rana was?

"Um-" he starts not really knowing how to continue without causing offence "-I don’t mean to offend you when I say this but, are you homeless?"

"Kind of, yeah" she glances down to the floor somewhat embarrassed, she then remembered the 'love' she thought she felt last night, maybe it was time to let her already warped feelings develop into more

"I can offer you a room here? Free of charge of course"

"No strings attached? but let me guess a valued businessman like you, there's bound to be a catch"

"No, I'll even keep you company sometimes if you want?"

"Seems tempting-" she thought back again to the feelings of the sex she had, the escape from her mind "-how can I know to trust you?"

"You have my word"

*****

"Carla?" Peter questions standing in the doorway of the living room, Carla holding a hand up to silence him, Peter sitting on the arm of the chair, the song still playing

"Do you want a brew?" Carla questions handing him the notebook for him to look through, he sighed at the scribbles she made on it reading through the put together words which made no sense

"Sure"

"I thought playing the song might help me remember, it's kind of working I guess" she smiles handing him the mug as Peter plays with her hair which was in a ponytail as she takes the notepad back off him to glance through her notes

"None of it makes any sense, I remember being offered the room now, then being in bed with him, I just don’t know I know we did something together, I kind of remember that but then it gets warped from other memories

"I understand, you need to rest though sweetheart, going over it…might make you ill again"

"It won't"

"Carla-"

"Please Peter let me do this"

"Alright, I'm going back to bed, come up when you're done"

"That could be a long time" Carla mutters to herself taking a sip of her drink, grabbing the notepad and pen to resume her quest for memories in the back of her mind…

*****

27th April 2019

"So what is this deal then?" Carla questions as she tucks into the bowl of porridge in front of her

"Well last night, I think you enjoyed it-"

"I did"

"Ok, well you could have more of that if you accepted a room here"

"What's in it for me?" Carla narrows her eyes suspiciously wondering if Rana had got to him, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her, she placed her now-empty bowl on the desk, him following placing a hand over hers

"A free room here, for as long as you need as well as free healthcare, private healthcare"

"Hmm, sounds tempting but how do I know no one's going to find me here?"

"What?" he stutters as Carla frowns in response as if it was obvious, she was convinced that Rana had got to him and that he was helping her in some way but she wanted to be brave and interrogate it

"How do I know you're not working for them?"

"What are you on about?"

"Rana, you're not working for Rana?" she questions her inner turmoil getting to her causing her to spiral out of control, causing her to feel intimidated all of a sudden

"Carla, I don’t know…"

"Right, sorry"

"It's ok…look the offer still stands…I just need to pop out and do something for a bit, I'll be back later, make yourself at home" the man smiles as Carla nods watching him get dressed and leave leaving Carla alone with her thoughts once more, she pottered around making sure everything was secure enough to let her stay here safely without the worry of Rana getting to her

"Wait!"

"Yes, Carla?"

"I need your help with something, that healthcare might be useful…"

"Alright well what do you need from me, as long as you stay of course" the man smiles taking her hand as she looks into his eyes, narrowing hers

"I'll show you" she smiles grabbing her bag and chucking her hood up taking this strangers hand so he could lead her to his car

*****

Carla continued to write until her eyelids drooped shut out of utter exhaustion, the notepad and pen falling to the floor as Carla slept in the armchair with her blanket unable to move as she was so tired from mulling over things, yet again she would force herself to go deeper into her treacherous memories to reveal where the second contract was, both her and Peter only prayed it wouldn’t set her back…


	8. The Second Agreement

"Carla, love?" Peter nudges her into wakefulness as she jumps slightly groaning in response about her aching back, she should've gone up to bed

"Mmm, what's the time?"

"Almost 10"

"Ugh, I must've fallen asleep" Carla sighs as Peter bends down to her level kissing her forehead as she smiles slightly bringing her hands up to rub her eyes

"Why don’t you go and get a couple more hours of sleep in? You must be exhausted"

"I don’t think I can, baby" Carla sighs as Peter closes his eyes knowing this was not good for her mental health, the obsession with her finding the second contract in the forefront of her mind

"Carla I'm worried, you're getting slightly obsessed with this contract, please just take some time out for me?"

"Fine, you can read through it if you want" she sighs heading upstairs before her mobile goes off, Carla sighing answering the call 

"Roy?...Yeah I guess I could, what time does she need to go in?...right yeah I'll be around at mid-day to take her…see ya Roy"

"Who was that?" Peter questions as Carla sighs smiling at him

"Nina wants a lift to college, Roy can't do it because he's working at the café so he asked me if I would" Carla grins as Peter wraps her up in a hug kissing her forehead

"Right go and sleep for a couple of hours please, I'll leave the car keys on the table" Peter smacks her arse as she squeals, heading upstairs with a smirk 

A couple of hours later Carla managed to get some decent sleep for once, not thinking about the contract helped her to drift off to sleep with ease, maybe continuing to write about may help her in the future she thought. She got dressed into a pair of leggings and a long t-shirt ready to wait for Nina to arrive so she could take her to college, and then there was a knock on the door.

"Hi Nina, love" Carla smiles beckoning her in as she smiles slightly placing her A1 art folder in the corridor

"Hi…I'm so glad you're taking me to be honest" Nina smiles slightly as Carla raises an eyebrow grabbing her coat as well as the keys, Nina grabbing her folder

"Really?"

"Yeah, Roy's car can be a bit uncomfortable" she grins slightly as Carla laughs leading her to where her car was parked, allowing Nina to put her folder in the back

"So then are you enjoying having a room all to yourself?" 

"It's alright" she mumbles glancing down to her phone as Carla rolls her eyes pulling up alongside the college in the dedicated 'parent drop off' spaces, Nina smiling before remember

"Oh yeah I almost forgot-" Nina smiles rustling around inside of her pocket pulling out a stapled piece of paper "-so I was trying to sleep, and there was this piece of paper scrunching around, I spent ages trying to figure out where it was but then I noticed an opening in the mattress and I found this, I only glanced to see who it was and it was for you, don’t worry I haven't read it"

"Oh thank you?" Carla frowns

"No problem and thank you for the lift" Nina smiles slightly as Carla smiles back at her gazing at the piece of paper in her hand, this couldn’t be it could it? She thought, this couldn’t be the other contract?

"No problem" Carla mumbles as Nina rolls her eyes heading into college, Carla putting her foot down and parking slightly down the road giving her time to read the contract in private

*****

CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT

Miss Carla Donovan & Riverlands Hotel

In relation to the previous agreement of confidentiality, both parties involved in this agreement have to sign this document to ensure that both confidentiality agreements are not dissolved.

This agreement was created in the favour of Miss Carla Donovan's health in relation to the events which happened on 27th April 2019. It was brought to our attention that Miss Carla Donovan and the employer of the Riverlands hotel, who had agreed to remain anonymous under the pretences of the other confidentiality agreement, came to a decision regarding Miss Donovan's health.

Miss Donovan was taking to a near-by clinic by our employer after agreeing to the previous contract which was signed on 27th April 2019. Our employer was told by Miss Donovan that she needed help in relation to an unwanted pregnancy she had conceived prior to both parties meeting and as a result would need to have a termination. Our employer used their private health care to allow Miss Carla Donovan to have this termination free of charge under the pretences she agreed to stay in one of the rooms on our premises as our employer wanted to help her, this also led to other sexually intimate moments between the two parties during Miss Donovan's stay at the Riverlands Hotel.

It was brought to our attention that Miss Donovan would leave the premises after the recovery from her termination, and would be given this agreement when she left. This agreement should remain confidential between the two parties and should never be discussed with a third party organisation or person.

Both Parties are required to sign below,

*****

Carla tried her best to compose herself before she went home, she decided she wasn’t ready to do that just yet and that she needed time to just get everything straight in her head. She sighed, surely she wouldn’t have aborted Peter's baby but when she thought about it again, it was very likely when she thought she was a bad person, then she remembered, that night in Southampton where they made love when going to sell Peter's boat, she sighed realising she must've conceived when she was there, she wished this nightmare would end, so she dialled Michelle's number again.

"'Chelle?"

"Carla? Is everything ok?" Michelle questions hearing the muffled sniffles from the phone

"I found the other contract, well Nina did…it's a long story but right now that doesn’t matter, 'Chelle I did something so, so stupid" 

"Ok…well it can't be as bad as cheating can it?"

"Oh I think it can, trust me this really tops cheating" Carla mutters as Michelle sighs in response thinking Carla was just being melodramatic about the situation but she would be shocked about what was going to come out of her mouth next…

"Go on…" Michelle encourages as Carla starts to cry "Car, seriously it can't be that-"

"I had an abortion, I aborted Peter's baby"

"W-What?" Michelle stutters as Carla cries inconsolably leaving Michelle speechless

"You heard me, what sort of person does that?! Carla questions as Michelle sighs wishing she could just hold her best friend

"Someone who was ill Carla, someone who wasn’t able to make concrete decisions, this isn't your fault sweetheart" Michelle laments as Carla sniffles some more

"It is, I thought I was a bad person, I thought that I would fail my child and that Rana would get it, I remember now…"

*****

27th April 2019

"You want me to go in there and buy you a pregnancy test?"

"That's what I asked, yes?"

"Are you out of your mind, we used protection-"

"It's not yours, it's someone else's, someone who's after me and it's best no one finds out about this…" Carla mutters as the man sighs stepping out of the car and heading to the drug store as Carla sighs in relief glancing to her phone, 60 missed calls from Peter, she sighed wondering if she was pregnant, this evil manipulative leech sucking the life out of her, she hated it with every ounce of her body, the man got back in the car and handed her the prescription bag

"We never speak of this again" she laments as the man nods heading off towards what she thought was the hotel, but he stopped off at what looked like a solicitors, she raised an eyebrow turning in her seat

"I just need to pick up some documents, will you be alright here?"

"Absolutely fine"

"Good, I'll be only 5 mins" he smiles, he was literally 5 minutes and soon after they made their way back to the hotel 

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"I'm more curious to know what's in that envelope, it looks official" Carla bites her lip as the man sighs taking a seat next to her as she leans up against the headboard 

"I really like you, Carla, you're beautiful but I just need to know that my position in this world won't be tarnished, so you will be required to sign this paperwork, if you do sign it I will give you a cash inject of your choice of amount" 

"Sounds tempting, where do I sign?"

"Here-"

"Hang on a minute, I have a deal for you as well" Carla smiles slightly wondering if she was being a little overbearing with her demands

"Go on…"

"If I am pregnant, will you help me get rid of it, I mean I'll only sign if you help me get rid of it" she compromises as the man sighs nodding in agreement knowing it was best to make her sign to protect his reputation, he then proposed another offer

"Ok deal, I can even let you use my private health care, like I suggested prior"

"Good, sorry to be a cheek again but could you maybe create another contract then maybe we could have some fun after?" she replies suggestively licking her lips as he bites his lip nodding giving hid solicitor a ring

"My solicitor will drop it off, why don’t you do that test then I'll go and meet him?"

"Sure, I'll see you in a bit then?"

"You will, you have my word" he winks at her as she smiles grabbing the prescription bag and heading into the bathroom to do the test leaving it face down, she didn’t want to look at the results, she heard the door click shut, she stepped out and she pounced at her lover, her tongue on his as they stumble over to the bed pulling at each other's clothes desperate to feel their skin on each other's…

"So are you pregnant?"

"Oh I didn’t look" she mumbles sliding out of bed, the linen of the bedspread used to cover her modesty as she headed into the bathroom to pick up the test

Pregnant 2-4 weeks

She sighed, she already felt like the worse person in the world and this child would suffer because of that, no, she couldn’t have it she needed to get rid, to protect herself, this life growing inside of her literally poisoning her blood, tainting it with despair and hurt, she hated it more than she hated herself and the fact it was Peter's, the man who tried to pass her off as being 'ill' it made her feel revolted.

"It was positive…where do I sign then?" Carla questions as the man smiles grabbing the contracts out of the envelopes they were in, both of them well put together confidentiality agreements, one for her health at the time and one for the elusive sex the two parties had

"Here-" he points to a dotted line on the first agreement "-and here" he points to the dotted line on the second agreement, Carla skimming through it quickly wanting to get rid of this poisonous spawn which was growing inside of her, she signed her name, well not her real name, her maiden name, a name which made her feel less valued than the ground she walked on

"Ok, we have a deal, this doesn’t get out, so I need to give you an amount?" Carla holds her hand out for him to shake, he does, a firm and convincing shake, she smiled slightly at the simplicity

"Pretty much"

"£100,000"

"That's fine, I'll fill it in if you're happy with that amount?" he confirms as Carla nods in agreement, the man writing the figure down on the contract

"Between us?"

"Between us, how about i ring the clinic for you?"

"Ta, I just need to get this sorted"

"No problem" he takes his phone out finding the number of the clinic to make an appointment for Carla "Is tomorrow fine Carla?"

"Yeah" she smiles glancing up at him briefly before turning her attention back to her hands where they were fiddling with the tie of her robe

"Right that's booked, I'll take you tomorrow, you'll need to go back to get the second pill tomorrow, so I'll take you again as well"

"Thank you so much, I owe you one"

"Well you know how you can repay me" he smirks as she sighs standing up and leaning in to kiss him as they undress again heading back to bed for another intimate encounter

*****

"I was so naïve 'Chelle, to think this wouldn’t come out, I remember it so vividly now" Carla cries as Michelle sighs down the phone not really knowing what to do for the best, she knew Carla would have to speak to Peter about it as it wasn’t fair to keep it from him, but she didn’t want to be put in the predicament that she would have to lie to Peter if Carla was to continue hiding the truth

"So what are you going to do then, you can't keep it from Peter so don’t even go there Carla"

"I know, I know but how do I tell him that I aborted his baby because I thought it was literally sucking the life out of me when it was growing inside of me for those few weeks, what sort of person am I if I do that to him, especially as he was getting broody…"

"What?! Peter was getting broody?"

"Yeah, when we look after Bertie, he was amazing 'Chelle, so amazing with him, I could see he wanted me to carry his child, he could've had that with me all those months ago, that baby would be in my arms right now if I kept it"

"Oh Carla, please don’t hide this from him, he deserves to know sweetheart please don’t"

"I just don’t know how to tell him"

"Alright, what I want you to do is go home, speak to Peter then ring me straight after ok?" Michelle questions wanting confirmation that Carla was going to speak to Peter about the events which happened when she went missing, she heard Carla sigh

"I will"

"Good, now drive safely ok? You've had a shock"

"I'll try," Carla says stuffing the confidentiality agreement into her handbag

"Ok, bye Car"

"See ya 'Chelle"


	9. The Accidents

The loud crash of metal and smashing of glass was all she remembered as the images flitted to the back and forefront of her mind as she woke from her painful slumber, her eyes fluttered open and she saw the whites of what she presumed was an airbag, the paramedics were already trying to get her out without trying to cause injury to her. The screech of the metal upon metal as the cutter managed to enable the firefighters to lift the roof off her car so they could free her from the restraints of her now worthless car.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yeah" she mumbles incoherently as the paramedic places a mask over her face to calm her as they lift her body onto a stretcher 

And that was that, she was off to Weatherfield General, where all her problems would come to the forefront…

Peter was pottering around glancing to the clock on the wall, surely Carla should be home by now, it didn’t take three hours to take Nina to school, unless of course, they stopped off to do some shopping together, yet again it was unlikely as Nina was not one for actively going shopping, even with Carla. His phone went off, he thought nothing of it at first, he sighed at the unknown number and answered it the hope of being Carla going out of the window, that was until he was told that his girlfriend was lying on a hospital bed in Weatherfield General. He rushed around making sure Simon stayed at Leanne's for the night knowing he would need to be there to offer Carla support when she woke.

"My girlfriend, she was brought in, Carla Connor, I'm Peter Barlow?"

"Ah yes, please take a seat, a doctor will be with you shortly" the receptionist smiles as Peter nods taking a seat and almost instantly, a doctor appeared

"Peter Barlow?"

"Yes, that’s me!"

"If you would like to follow me, please" the doctor smiles leading him to the relative's room

"What happened?"

"Carla was involved in a road traffic accident and was brought in, she was conscious and still is, she's very groggy and disorientated, she had a number of superficial injuries, a broken wrist, it was more her car which bared the brunt of the impact, so she was very lucky"

"Can I see her?" Peter questions eagerly as the doctor nods, gesturing for Peter to follow him to where Carla was lying practically lifeless on a hospital bed, Peter sitting on the chair which was provided next to the bed, taking her hand gently in his

"I'll leave you to it, if anything happens which may require immediate assistance don’t hesitate to pull the alarm"

"Thank you"

"I mustn't forget, in the cupboard, there was various items which she came in with, a bag and other belongings which were in the car"

"Oh right, thank you"

"Peter" Carla whispers practically inaudible as Peter smiles kissing her forehead as her eyes flutter open, Carla wincing as she takes her oxygen mask off

"Hey beautiful, how did this happen eh?" Peter smiles tearfully as Carla sighs knowing now was the time to reveal the truth 

"I was driving then someone came towards me, I swerved I think then the tree" she replies tearfully as Peter nods slowly stroking her hair which was matted with blood

"The contract" she whispers tiredly

"We don’t need to talk about that now sweetheart, just focus on getting better yeah?"

"No Peter, my bag"

"It's here sweetheart" Peter smiles getting it out of the cupboard and placing it beside her on the bed, Carla using her hand to rummage through her bag finding the piece of paper which she read knowing this would definitely ruffle a few feathers

"I thought it was at home sweetheart?"

"No…Nina…gave me this one" she whispers as Peter closes his eyes wishing this awful nightmare which had become their life would just go away "-the second contract, Peter"

"What? How?"

"She found it, it's a long story, but I need you to promise me that you won't be angry because this tops cheating ok? It really does and I don’t know why I did what I did, ok?"

"Carla…I love you ok?"

"I'm not sure if you will after you read this, but here, it's yours to read" Carla places it in his hands as she stares straight ahead not wanted to see his reaction as Peter read the contract tears streaming down his face

"I could've been a dad" he whispers as Carla glances to see his expression, bursting into tears as Peter sits on the side of her bed stroking her hair as she cries, both of their mingled tears representing the hurt of the past

"I'm so sorry"

"Hey…I know you are, oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry I didn’t listen to my dad to get you help sooner" Peter whispers kissing her hand as she nuzzles into the comfort of his chest

"I feel sorry for aborting your child Peter, I'm so sorry" she whispers again as Peter shuffles off the bed grabbing her oxygen mask again, placing it around her head knowing she needed to rest

"All I want you to do now is rest and get better ok? Then we can talk about this when you're back home" Peter smiles kissing her hair as she closes her eyes breathing in the oxygen which was provided, as Peter places her handbag back into the cupboard allowing her to rest as he studies the document again

"Oh Carla, how did things get this bad?" he whispers to himself glancing to her slumbering body tucked up in the hospital bed, Johnny entering the room gingerly

"Hi, how is she?"

"Just resting, we better not disturb her, it's been a traumatic day" Peter smiles gesturing for Johnny to come out of the room

"She's ok though, no lasting damage?" Johnny quizzes Peter as he smiles slightly

"No lasting damage thank god, she's just got superficial injuries and what looked like a broken wrist but overall she's pretty lucky"

"Thank god, I was so worried when you phoned" Johnny laments as Peter pats him on the shoulder

"I don’t suppose you could do me a favour could you and stay with her and is she wakes up just say that I need to do something before she comes home?"

"Sure"

"Thanks, Johnny"

Peter headed home to collect the first contract he sighed at what he was reading, it made sense though, everything about the whole thing made sense but before he had a chance to act his phone rang, it was Michelle, he sighed knowing he would have to reveal the details of Carla's car crash, what he didn’t know was that Michelle knew about everything. So he answered the call.

"Michelle?"

"Peter, I heard what happened to Carla from Maria, is she ok?" Michelle questions frantically as Peter sighs in response

"She's fine Michelle, just superficial injuries and a broken wrist which will no doubt heal so don’t go booking any flights or anything"

"Thank god, has she spoken to you about anything recently?"

"You knew? She could tell you but she couldn’t say it to my face first?" Peter questions incredulously as Michelle sighs, it was obvious that Carla left that rather big piece of information out and he somewhat felt betrayed about it

"It wasn’t like that Peter, she asked for advice, I wasn’t going to turn her away was I, not after last time" Michelle groans knowing Carla put her in an awkward position, she didn’t really have the energy to be Peter Barlow's punch bag

"Why couldn’t she come to me though, after everything we've been through together?" 

"Peter I think all she wanted was some advice on what to do, she wasn’t actually going to tell you but I persuaded her to so you should be thanking me" Michelle mutters as Peter sighs knowing she was right, he felt guilty about accusing Michelle of being secretive knowing that if she wasn’t there for Carla to speak to she would've bottled things up, deep down he was thankful for Michelle

"Sorry, tensions are just running high, she told me everything yes, about the money and about the abortion, I left her with Johnny I needed to sort this mess out once and for all" Peter sighs tearfully, the fact that maybe if Carla didn’t abort his child he could be holding that baby right now in his arms

"I know it's difficult and to be honest I didn’t quite believe her when she told me, but right now she doesn’t need more legal drama, she needs you to love her Peter, to hold her, she wouldn’t want it dragged up again, she probably wants to forget and move on with her life"

"I guess you're right, I just feel like we should be doing something ya know, I just feel useless" Peter laments as Michelle sighs, of course he felt that way but right now that didn’t matter, all that mattered was Carla's welfare

"I know you do but just listen to her and done do things behind her back because she'll resent you for it, she's probably scared out of her mind that you left her with Johnny, go and see her"

"Oh god, yes…I'm so stupid, right bye 'Chelle, I'll speak to you soon, or Carla will"

"Bye Peter"

Peter made his way back to the hospital after hearing a number of home truths from Michelle, this made him come to the conclusion that those stupid pieces of paper meant nothing and in reality he can't change anything that happened, he was scared that Carla may be affected by her disappearance last year now more than ever but at the end of the day he would always be there to support her, he knocked gently on the door to her room, Johnny smiling and releasing Carla's hand as she glances to Peter with a small smile on her face.

"Hi" Peter smiles as Carla smiles as well, both of them happy to be reunited together

"I'll give you some privacy" Johnny smiles stepping out of the room as Peter takes his seat, taking Carla's hand in his

"Where did you go?" she whispers as Peter bites his lip guiltily Carla narrows her eyes

"I went home for a bit just to read both of the contracts, I was going to see Adam but then Michelle called me and we spoke about everything, she told me that she knew about everything"

"Oh…I'm sorry I told her before you…"

"That's ok, Michelle made me see that it was ok for you to do that, don’t worry sweetheart. She also made me see sense about getting legal advice as well saying that you would most likely want to think about the future, not dwell on one of the worst times in your life"

"Thank you for not going to Adam, I wouldn’t have wanted that" Carla confirms as Peter nods kissing her forehead gently as she smiles at the affection she was having

"It's alright, sorry I left you, I just needed to deal with it in my own way-"

"Is this a bad time?" The doctor approaches the room anxiously as Carla shakes her head in response, the doctor grabbing another chair

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired, drowsy, my head hurts quite a bit as well as my wrist," Carla says rather weakly Peter holding her hand pressing his lips onto her skin

"We can give you some more pain relief for that…I also wanted to talk to you about something we picked up when we did a blood test, in private?" The doctor glances to Peter who glances to Carla

"Can he stay?"

"It's hospital policy, I'm sorry"

"It's alright, I'll go and get something from the canteen" Peter smiles kissing Carla's forehead as Carla smiles slightly turning to face the doctor watching Peter leave briefly

"As you know we took some of your blood as we know you were on medications for mental health issues to see if you had traces of your medication as it can affect some pain medications we provide patients."

"Yes but I don’t understand, what did you pick up?"

"The blood test seemed to confirm that you're pregnant," The doctor says as Carla glares at him in disbelief 

"I know it's a lot to take in, we would like to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, let me just call my partner and get him back here, I have time to tell him before you come to do the ultrasound?" Carla questions as the doctors nods smiling and leaving the room, leaving Carla to call Peter, her hand placed on her stomach in disbelief 

"Hi, I brought you a brownie for when you're allowed to eat" Peter smiles as Carla smiles briefly, her face resembling shock still, causing Peter to raise an eyebrow

"Is everything ok, love?"

"Yeah just sit down…have an open mind that's all I ask right now" Carla mumbles as Peter sits down with a huff, taking Carla's hand

"What did the doctor say?"

"I'm pregnant"

"W-What…?" Peter questions as Carla nods slowly, her expression very much remaining in shock still

"The doctor picked it up on the blood test" she mutters as Peter smiles taking her hand, he was in shock, Carla was carrying his child again as there was a knock on the door, a midwife appearing with an ultrasound machine

"Hi Carla" the sonographer smiles as Carla smiles back briefly rolling her hospital gown up so that the sonographer had access to her stomach

"You ok, love?" Peter questions as Carla nods slowly just trying to get through the moment, the sonographer squirting the gel onto her stomach and pressing the probe into it both Carla and Peter looking at the screen eagerly

"Right this blob here is your baby, there's obviously not a lot to see right now as you're not that far along but for the gestation, you're at it seems to be the right size"

"How many weeks?" Carla questions as Peter smiles at the screen

"Around five weeks I would say, I'll print off some pictures" the sonographer smiles as the pictures print, the sonographer handing them to Carla

"Thank you"

"No problem, I'll send a letter through for a twelve-week scan" the sonographer smiles packing up the machine as Carla and Peter glance to the photo, the sonographer leaving

"This is our chance Car" Peter smiles as Carla nods letting out a breath of relief

"We're going to be alright aren't we?"

"Of course sweetheart, you and our little 'un, we'll be more than fine"

"You do want this don’t you?" Carla questions wanting Peter to tell her the truth, she knew this was a big step for both of them after everything that happened

"More than the world, what about you?"

"I think it'll be the making of us"


	10. Homecoming

A few days later Carla was allowed home, Peter by her side, as usual, he helped her with her bag as her wrist was still quite delicate, Peter settling her down on the sofa, draping a fluffy blanket over her legs as she smiles gently at him, Peter lifting her legs up and placing them onto his lap.

"How are you feeling?" Peter questions as Carla sighs in response, she didn’t know how to feel about everything that happened the past week, there was so much negativity as well as so much positivity

"Alright, I s'pose, what about you?"

"Yeah I mean it's a lot to take in right now but I think it could work" Carla nods unconvincingly as Peter rubs her leg sympathetically knowing this must be hard for her

"Now the truth?"

"Ey?"

"I won't judge you ya know" Peter prompts her as she sighs again wishing he would just leave her to think for a bit as this was a major step in their lives which they were about to take

"I know you won't, I just…feel bad, that's all, like I don’t deserve to carry this child because of the one I got rid of" she smiles slightly as Peter shakes his head knowing that this must be difficult for her to come to terms with

"That's understandable but you were ill Carla, you weren't thinking rationally and this isn't your fault"

"You say that though…everything was my fault Peter, everything"

"No sweetheart it wasn’t, don’t beat yourself up about it, think of the baby" Peter laments as Carla shakes her head grabbing her coat and bag, storming out of the house just wanting to think for herself without Peter's interference swaying her decision

"Lemonade please Jenny" Carla sighs handing over the coins glancing around to see if there was anyone she could join, spotting Maria in the far corner

"Here you are love, how's the wrist?" Jenny questions as Carla smiles briefly putting her purse away

"It's just tender but yeah, it'll be fine, I'm just going to join Maria" Carla smiles taking her glass of lemonade over to Maria's table and taking a seat with her

"Oh Hi Carla" Maria smiles glancing up from her phone as Carla smiles back placing her lemonade down on the table

"Come on out with it" Carla grins tilting her head to the side as Maria sighs in response locking her phone and placing it in her bag

"Nope, we're not talking about my problems, come on how are you?" Maria questions as Carla groans in response now regretting coming to the pub

"I'm ok, the wrist hurts but everything else, yeah it's peachy"

"Yeah right" Maria scoffs "Come on what's going on really because I know for a fact they would've let you out the day after your accident not almost a week later"

"I'll feel bad for telling you this though, after everything you've been through" Carla sighs as Michelle raises her eyebrows before covering her mouth in shock, it finally clicked

"No way, Carla!" Maria gasps as Carla sighs in response rubbing her head in exasperation

"Unfortunately"

"What? You're not happy?"

"No, not really, it couldn’t come at a worse time to be honest with you"

"Hey, how come, in my eyes you have the perfect home to bring a baby up in as well as the support from Peter and Simon, I don’t see what the problem is" Maria exclaims as Carla groans in response, of course she would be on Peter's side

"Maybe I don’t know I just, things are happening behind closed doors that you don’t know about so that's kind of changed my perspective on things"

"Peter's not cheating again is he?" Maria questions concerned for Carla as it was the same predicament she was in last time

"No! God no, nothing like that it's just I don’t know what to do Maria"

"Have you spoken to Michelle?"

"Oh god, I need to tell her, um don’t tell anyone ok, not until I've made a decision" Carla panics grabbing her phone and heading out in the beer garden of the Rover's to ring Michelle

"Michelle?"

"Carla? Is everything alright, are you alright?" she panics as Carla sighs

"I'm fine, it's just my wrist and other things, talking of other things I need to speak to you" Carla sighs as Michelle listens on intrigued wondering what else Carla had hidden up her sleeves

"Go on then…please be something positive" Michelle begs knowing there seemed to be quite a bit of negativity in her life right now

"Well I wouldn’t really say positive, I'm pregnant" Carla mutters as Michelle sighs in response, as if things couldn’t get more complicated

"Well, how do you feel then?"

"No different, why is my life such a mess 'Chelle" Carla sighs as Michelle laughs slightly knowing how it must seem for her right now, bad things always followed Carla around, now more than ever

"So then, does Peter know or are you keeping this from him as well"

"He knows, I told him straight away so don’t get any ideas about going behind my back and telling him" Carla scolds her as Michelle sighs rubbing her forehead in exasperation

"Go and see him, Carla"

"Michelle!"

"Carla I mean, you know what I might actually ban you from phoning me because you're just digging a bigger hole here" Michelle laments as Cxarla sighs knowing Michelle was right, she was usually right in most of these situations

"Fine, just for you"

"Good girl, let me know what you both decide, bye Carla"

Carla headed back home, not that it was far to go, popping in to say goodbye to Maria first, but Michelle was right, she needed to speak to Peter honestly about the way she was feeling. As soon as the key went in the door, Peter was smothering her in attention and she hated it, more than hated it to be precise but she knew he was just trying to care for his pregnant girlfriend, she hung her coat up and her bag on the bannister as Peter hands her a cup of tea, Carla sighing that it wasn’t her usual fix of highly caffeinated coffee.

"Peter just stop a minute please, you're giving me a headache"

"Here let me get you some para-"

"Peter! Please this is overbearing, just stop" Carla shouts as Peter raises his eyebrows at her outburst

"That's the last time I be nice" he mutters taking a seat opposite her as Carla glances down into her tea, her mind still wishing it was coffee

"No, baby. I get you're trying to care for me but I just wanted to talk to you about me being pregnant and all that" Carla closes her eyes as Peter nods slowly in response wondering where this conversation would go, then he remembered what exactly just came out of her mouth, she didn’t say 'the baby' she said 'pregnant'

"So what do you want to say?"

"Promise you won't kick-off?" Carla questions as Peter lets out a breath before nodding in agreement taking one of her hands in his, pressing his lips to it

"Promise"

"I feel like we need to be realistic here, right now I don’t feel as if I'm ready to be a mum and right now this pregnancy, I'm going to be honest, I don’t want it Peter"

"Wait you're pregnant?" Simon questions his eyes wide in shock as Carla groans in response 'just great' she thought now she would have to tell Simon and Peter that she didn’t want to carry this child

"No, she's not-"

"He's not dumb Peter, don’t even try and lie your way out of this one. Si take a seat" Carla smiles slightly as Simon nods sitting beside Carla

"I think you would be a great mum Carla" Simon reassures her as Carla sighs letting out a strained laugh shaking her head in disagreement to Simon's statement

"No, Si. I know you mean well but right now, I just can't even picture myself going there, right now in my life, it wouldn’t be fair on this baby if I were to bring it up without the love it deserved"

"Then try?"

"It's not that simple" Carla states "What would I do? Put it up for adoption when it's born, no I'm not going there"

"Are you saying you want to get rid of it, love?"

"That's damn right what I'm saying Peter, we're hardly spring chickens are we, bringing a baby up, by the time it's off to college you'll be into you seventies, hardly fair on this child is it Peter?"

"I see your logic-" Peter starts "-please just think about it, for the rest of the week, that's all I ask of you, everything since the crash I feel you just need to take time to settle again before you make irrational decisions"

"Ok, fine. Deal. I am not changing my mind on this one though Peter" Carla mutters getting up and heading upstairs to have a shower leaving Simon and Peter to contemplate what just happened in this very room moments prior

"You're going to let her get rid of it?" Simon hisses as Peter nods in response, he couldn’t force her, the more he pushes her the more she would resent him and even though he wanted the baby he couldn’t help but think Carla was right, they were getting on and right now, he didn’t want to force her into something she would live regretting for the rest of her life, it was her body so at the end of the day her choice on whether to grow the baby, watching her body change or get rid and go back to normal

"I don’t have a choice son, it's her body. I can't force her to have a baby if she doesn’t want one, it's not fair, we both need to be committed."

"I don’t believe this-" Simon shakes his head exasperatedly "-you're like a pair of teenagers, you act childish all the time and you say you can't bring up a baby because you're too old, I give up"

"Si, I understand I do, please don’t harass Carla over this, there's still a chance she may change her mind" Peter sighs knowing Simon could be quite headstrong at times

"I'm not going to harass her, I respect her decision but I just think you're thinking way too much into it" Simon shrugs heading off into his room before Peter could say another word Carla appears with her hair wrapped in a towel

"Thank god I got all that matted blood out of me hair, was being dead stubborn" she grins as Peter smiles kissing her forehead before going to sit on the sofa ignoring Carla's gaze on him, he was going to give her the silent treatment and boy did she know it

"So you're just going to ignore me then?" she questions before nodding going upstairs and getting changed as well as running the hair dryer through her hair before she leaves the house and made her way to Roy's to get some peace, bumping into a man as she was in a rush, he grabbing her arm holding her upright in case she fell

"Sorry" she mumbles glancing up into the innocent, or not so innocent in her case, eyes of the stranger, wrestling her arm free

"Carla…"


	11. When the Past and the Present mix...

Chapter 11 - When the past and the present mix…

"Not here" she beckons him over to the alleyway near the café ready to talk

“How nice to see you again!”

“Save the pleasantries, if you’re here for your money, we had a deal” 

“A deal which could be broken at any time, remember? I could show your partner that you were once mine”

“Look I don't know what you want but I did what was asked of me ok?”

“You did, you looked perfect back then, happy unkempt, skin marred with homelessness, really suited you”

“You-“

“Ah ah ah, we wouldn’t want words getting out to father daddy dearest would we?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Carla exclaims in pure horror 

"Come on Carla, what happened between us, it was something special, I saved you, helped you get an abortion, I did everything you wanted of me and this is how you repay me, by telling me what to do?"

"Who are you, Ray?"

"You know exactly who I am Carla, everyone will do soon enough as well, including daddy dearest" Ray snarls sinisterly grabbing Carla's arm and holding her up close to him enough for his eyes to twinkle down into hers a menacing glare causing Carla's heart to race

"Let go of me" she whispers as Ray lets her go somewhat forcefully

"My pleasure, I have another deal for you if you want to take it, it'll mean more money…"

"I'm not doing any more of your sleazy gestures Ray, not after Michelle" Carla exclaims incredulously casing Ray to chuckle to himself

"You Connor women are fiery aren't you?" Ray smirks suggestively using the back of his hand to brush along Carla's cheeks, her face resembling pure hatred for this man

"Get off of me!" she pushes him away as Ray grins in triumph, he had Carla right where he wanted her

"You shouldn’t get stressed out" Ray smirks glancing down to where Carla hand her hand rested across her stomach in a bid to protect her unborn child, Carla frowning in confusion, how did he know she was pregnant?"

"What do you mean?" she questions as Ray laughs hysterically as well as dryly which just angered her more

"You're pregnant, you always had this glow about you when you were staying those couple of days, something hypnotising, luring. That was until you got rid of it, poor Peter would be a shame if he found out wouldn’t it?"

"Don’t you dare! We had an agreement, Ray. You don’t speak to me and we only speak about what happened between us, between us and no one else, likewise with the abortion" Carla groans in response as Ray nods knowing she was right, he wasn’t stupid 

"I know but I guess it's fun keeping you on your feet, I should also thank you for speaking to Michelle as well" Ray snarls as Carla raises an eyebrow confused

"What?"

"Well…now that I own the bistro we can can't help but bump into each other, can we?" Ray smirks as Carla rolls her eyes regretting telling Michelle to go for the mystery buyer

"Don't you dare tell her about this, I mean it Ray- Ow!" Carla cries keeling over in pain, her hand pressed to her stomach in a bid to stop the pain pulsing through her abdomen 

"Are you ok?" Ray questions in case he went too far, Carla glaring at him wondering when he had the audacity to care about her

"I'm fine- ow- no I'm not, I need to go to a hospital" Carla states as Ray sighs rubbing his forehead in exasperation

"Stay here a minute try not to move, I'll take you" Ray states as Carla nods slowly not knowing to trust this person

"No, actually, take me to Roy's it's just next door," Carla says shakily before crying out in pain again as Ray nods slowly, putting an arm around her waist bumping into Maria on the way

"I just found her" Ray lies as Carla nods in agreement to his statement Maria putting an arm around her shoulders

"We need to get you to the hospital Carla," Maria says concerned as Carla nods, Maria leading her over to her car saying a thank you to Ray quickly before she does, helping Carla into the passenger seat, pulling the seatbelt across her body

"Thanks"

"Don’t mention it, come on we need to get you checked out, it'll all be ok" Maria reassures her as Carla sighs as if this was her body's way of telling her she shouldn’t have children, her hand still clutched onto her stomach as they begin the journey to Weatherfield General

Maria escorted Carla up to the maternity unit, holding her hand all the way, she knew exactly how she felt and she was scared for Carla and when Carla insisted she didn’t want Peter there Maria knew she was most likely going to get rid of it and the fact that Maria saw her tracing faint outlines on her stomach which was rolled up in preparation for the scan spoke volumes that Carla was in love with this baby more than she was letting on but at the end of the day Maria wanted to be there to hold her hand and tell her everything was ok, that was until Peter came storming into the room demanding what was going on.

"Peter what are you doing here?" Carla questions anxiously wondering if Ray was dripping poison in his ear

"Um, that Ray told me he found you, are you ok?"

"I'll leave you to it" Maria mumbles squeezing Carla's hand affectionate as Carla flashes her a quick smile, Peter taking Maria's place and holding Carla's hand

"Peter I'm fine it's just…yeah I'm fine" she reassures him as he sighs, a midwife entering the room sensing the tension

"I can come back…"

"It's fine, do what you need to do" Carla smiles slightly as the midwife nods pulling up a chair to sit at the ultrasound machine grabbing the gel and squirting it onto Carla's stomach pressing the probe into it, Carla and Peter staring blankly at the screen not knowing what to say to each other, both of their minds elsewhere thinking about the possibility of Carla getting rid of this baby

"You see this blob here, this is your baby, everything looks really good so far, we can see if we can listen to the heartbeat if you want, but most likely we won't pick it up at this stage as you're so early on"

"It's fi-"

"Ok" Peter cuts in with a big grin on his face as Carla smiles slightly at his eagerness, nodding towards the midwife as she turns the volume up 

"Yeah it looks like you may be a little early on for me to hear the heartbeat but everything looks really good so far, on your next gestational scan you should be able to hear it so don’t worry, now if you excuse me I'll go and write up these notes, you can go home when you want" 

"Thank you" Peter smiles as the midwife nods leaving the room causing Carla to sigh 

"Peter we need to talk" Carla bites her lip wiping up the residue left by the gel from her stomach grabbing her t-shirt and her trousers sliding them on

"You still want to get rid of it?"

"Yes"

"Carla-"

"No guilt trips, please Peter I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted but right now I need you to accept that this is my decision and I am not budging and when we get home I'm booking that termination" 

"I know ok at least let me be there for you, when you do it, you know" he mumbles wanting to be supportive as she smiles nodding her head, what else could she do?

"Thank you, thank you so much baby, I love you, you know that right?" she confirms as Peter smiles widely at her admission kissing her forehead gently grabbing their bag and heading to his car ready to begin the journey home, Carla wishing that her life was simple but right now it was far from it, but she knew the truth always comes out in the end, doesn’t it?


	12. Baby love?

Peter woke up to the bed empty beside him, Carla was gone, he sighed wondering if she was still trying to make it up to him for wanting to abort the baby today, as well as the last one she aborted when she was ill. That's when he heard it, the sound of vomiting coming from the bathroom, Peter didn’t know what to do, whether to comfort her or whether to leave her to it in case she snapped at him even though it pained him to hear her being sick, he hovered in the doorway of the bathroom not really knowing what to say to break the silence of her gut-wrenching sounds of vomit. So he took a chance and scooped her hair up so it was out of her way.

"Don’t say anything" Carla warns as Peter nods knowing she didn’t want to be guilt-tripped, Carla grabbing her toothbrush and dolloping generous amounts of toothpaste

“It’ll all be over later” he reassures her as she smiles slightly 

“I know and to be honest I can't wait, I still can't believe we had to wait for two weeks to have this appointment” she mutters as Peter kisses her gently on the neck massaging her shoulders 

“That reminds me, what time do we need to leave?”

“Um around ten, I’ve spoken to Roy and he said Nina’s stepped in to help him out so he reassured me I could take as much time as I need” she smiles trying to reassure Peter as he reflects her smile back

“I don’t suppose you want any food?”

“Nope, but thanks for offering, don’t let me stop you though” she smiles as they both head downstairs causing Peter to sigh, he couldn’t say that this was affecting him more than he was letting on

“Hi Si” Carla smiles grimacing at the very burnt toast he was eating

“Want some?” he offers as Carla gags Peter taking the toast off Simon and eating it himself 

“We need to think about leaving soon” Peter smiles as Carla nods slowly knowing that he was trying hard to not beg her into keeping the baby

“So you’re still getting rid of it then?” Simon asks as Carla sighs in response

“Yes”

“All I’m going to say is, I think you’re making a massive mistake, many people would be lucky to be in your position but like dad said we can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do”

“Then don’t?” Carla questions bluntly as Peter tries to silence Simon knowing Carla would get very angry very quickly

“I’ve said my piece, up to you two now,” Simon says grabbing his bag for college and heading off causing Carla to groan in response, Peter bringing her in for a hug

“We better get going, go and get ready” Peter whispers, Carla heading upstairs to put some comfortable clothes on ready for the appointment

Peter drove Carla to the clinic where her termination would be taking place. It was horrible, everything about this situation was horrible, the waiting room, the endless amounts of women probably wanting to abort a child, and with Carla signed in, he detested the fact he was joining them and that he was here but he wanted to be there to support Carla.

“Carla Connor?”

Holding onto Peter’s hand she entered the room, glancing to the ultrasound machine and other various items in the room, the comfy chairs, everything seemed so forced

“Please take a seat, and you are?” the nurse gestures to a Peter

“Peter, I’m her partner” Peter informs the nurse who flashes them a quick smile each getting the notes up on the screen

“I will explain how this works as it is required before I administer the first pill. You will need to have an ultrasound to determine how far along you are in the pregnancy then you will be given the first pill which will stop the hormone which allows the pregnancy to continue working, this will be administered after you fill out the questionnaire as all patients are required to do so. The second pill will be administered in 24 hours time which will start to break down the lining of the womb within four to six hours. You will be able to change your mind any time before you swallow the first pill”

“Is there any risks?” Peter questions not really sure how Carla could sit there and absorb the information so freely

“Yes, the most common is the risk of infection which can be treated with antibiotics. Some of the less common risks are that the pregnancy can remain in the womb, continuation of the pregnancy, excessive bleeding”

“So if you would like to lie down on the examination bench, Carla” the nurse smiles as Carla clutches onto Peter’s hand, rolling her top up allowing the nurse to squeeze some of the gel onto her stomach and pressing the probe into it, Peter staring intently at the screen

“Wow” Peter whispers as tears fill his eyes seeing the flickering of what he presumed was the heartbeat, he glanced to Carla seeing the tears trail down her face as she takes in the image of her baby which was much more visible now

“You seem to be around almost eight weeks” the nurse smiles slightly handing a wad of tissues to Carla so she could clean her stomach up, turning off the machine, Carla and Peter sitting back down in their respective chairs

“I’ll give you this questionnaire now, I’ll leave you to it for a bit as it can be quite intimidating me sitting in front of you, I’ll be at my desk if you have any questions, please take your time” the nurse points to the desk in the corner of the room as Carla glances at the questionnaire beginning to tick boxes getting quite emotional at how deep some of these questions are, but she was honest and 20 minutes later she handed the questionnaire back to the nurse to skim over

“Ok so in this cup this contains the first pill which will stop the pregnancy hormone from working, take as long as you need and don’t be afraid to change your mind” the midwife places the cup on the coffee table along with a plastic drinking cup and jug of water, Carla fiddling with the cup in her hand for a good ten minutes

“Carla-“

“Don’t Peter”

“You don’t want to take that pill, do you?”

Carla pours it out into the palm of her hand staring at it, there were so many thoughts going through her head at this point ranging from, getting rid of the baby and going back to normal or actually going through with it, both her and Peter watching their child grow, someone to love, someone to hold. That was one frightening thought for her but at this point in time she didn’t know what she wanted.

“I spoke to ‘Chelle last night”

“Ok?” he replies confused why she was bringing it up right now but he let her, he didn't want to be deemed too forceful or upset her in any way

“She was convinced I would keep it, that I wouldn’t go through with it”

“And is she right?”

“I hope not-” she scoffs “-that means I have to deal with her smugness but right now, I’m not too sure”

“It’s ok not to be sure Carla, I’m sure most mums to be aren’t sure and that’s ok isn’t it?”

“I’m scared Peter, of this changing us, I don’t want us to change, I'm happy as we are now I don’t want this baby to change that or for me to fail at bringing it up” Carla smiles slightly tears lining her eyes as Peter places his hand over the pill taking it and placing it in the cup

“One day at a time?”

“Yeah, one day at a time” Carla smiles taking the pill and going over to the nurse

“Sorry for wasting your time”

“It’s ok, we understand if you need more time to think about it”

“Take me home, Peter” Carla turns to face him with a small smile on her face causing Peter to put an arm around her shoulders, kissing the side of her head as they walk to the car. 

Carla was glancing out the window not really knowing what to say to Peter knowing he would want to ask questions and she wasn’t ready for that just yet but Peter let her have the silence she wanted allowing her to keep herself feeling sane for now. They pulled up by the house and got out, Peter kissing Carla's forehead allowing her to go into the house, both of them sitting down on the sofa together, Peter bringing her into a hug, running a hand through her hair as she sighs contently.

"You alright?" Peter breaks the silence as Carla looks up at him, a small smile on her face but deep down she thanked him for caring

"Yeah, I'm fine, what about you, I bet you're pleased?" she mutters as Peter sighs not really wanting to get into an argument

"I'm happy as long as you’re happy" he replies smartly as Carla nods slowly kissing him gently on the lips as Simon comes through the door, tutting at his dad and Carla

"So how was your little trip down the abortion clinic then?" Simon inquires somewhat sarcastically causing Carla to roll her eyes and grabbing her coat and storming out of the house, not wanting to seem weak

"Si, what did I say? Don’t wind her up, she's very sensitive at the moment, I need to go and find her so please just think about what I said" Peter groans in response grabbing his coat and phone to try and find Carla…

"You look like you could so with a strong shot of whiskey" Ray murmurs from his car which was pulled up on the opposite side of Coronation Street

"Don’t speak to me Ray"

"Woah, someone needs to take a chill pill" Ray smirks as Carla turns around and slaps him, Peter watching on confused at the union between Ray and Carla, instantly storming over and grabbing Ray by his jacket

"Don’t you dare insult me, Ray, after everything you did to Michelle, you should be thankful you're still standing!" Carla screams as Peter holds her back trying not to instigate anything else.

"You really need to get her to control herself, Peter, seriously" Ray smirks as Peter glares at him warningly, Carla rubbing her forehead in exasperation 

"I'll finish you if you continue to bad mouth Carla any further, so if I were you I would do one"

"Don’t worry, I won't stay longer than what's needed, you're looking well Carla, you have that glow about you" Ray smiles getting into his car and driving off causing Carla to sigh knowing she would have some explaining to do

"So are you going to keep me in the dark further?" Peter questions rhetorically as Carla sighs taking her keys out of her pocket and heading over to Number One knowing it was time to tell Peter everything…


	13. Truth

"I think I deserve you an explanation, but I need you to remain calm, Peter"

"I will try I'm not making promises because I think I already know where this is going, and no I won't jump to conclusions so I would prefer you to explain"

"Fine, Ray was the one I slept-"

"That raped you, but you're just going to skim over that aren't you?" Peter mutters trying to keep his anger under control as Carla sighs nodding slowly in agreement, Peter shaking is head annoyed that he didn’t see it before but right now that didn’t matter, he needed answers to so many questions

"He didn’t rape me!" Carla shouts "We both wanted it Pe'er"

"Ok, so say you both wanted it, you were in no position to consent Carla but no I'm not going to waste my breath on this, it's pointless anyway"

"Thank you" she retorts "Look I'm sorry I hit him-"

"He deserved it" Peter replies as Carla scoffs shaking her head rubbing her forehead in exasperation, she just needed to make sure Peter wasn’t going to go off the rails

"You can't speak to him about it, he'll seize this place, you know that right?" Carla panics as Peter glares at her, this was so unfair on so many levels, he wanted to beat the living day lights out of Ray for raping Carla but he knew they had so much to lose it wasn’t worth it

"Of course I do" Peter snaps "Why did that flamin' factory roof have to cave in?"

"Please don’t mention the factory" Carla mutters as Peter looks up at her knowing it affected her a lot when they talked about the factory, he sighed knowing it was wrong to mention it knowing it could really upset her

"Sorry" he mumbles "But you do realise how much of a hole we're in, we can't dig ourselves out of this one Carla"

"I know and it's all my fault-"

"No…no don’t you dare blame this on yourself, you've done so well to recover you're not going back into that dark place of your mind again. No way" Peter says grabbing her by the shoulders as she hugs him, Peter swaying her in his arms slowly

"Sorry-"

"Stop saying sorry," Peter says as Carla sighs knowing this was such a mess for her to even comprehend anything right now, Carla didn’t know what Peter would do if he saw Ray, she really needed to stress that if Peter told Ray that he knew about everything then the house would be seized or even worse legal action would be taken against them both 

"Peter you need to promise me you'll keep your cool, I mean it, he can't find out that you know, I don’t need the stress"

"This is why you didn’t want the baby, isn't it? In case things came out? It all makes sense now" Peter mutters as Carla sighs, what else could she do but agree, it was pretty much true she just wanted to make sure things were settled but she knew deep down they never would be and bringing a baby up in a battlefield of an environment, she didn’t like the sound of it, having a child involved in a series of hate

"Yes, it was. Please Peter don’t do this, I could probably explain everything that happened now, that’s if you want to know…"

"Of course I want to know Carla" he snaps "I do but it just worries me that's all, I'm scared of what you'll reveal, I really am," Peter says as Carla sighs in response not really knowing what to say

"Ok, then I'll tell you, I need to get this off my chest so I can move on with my life, with you and this baby" Carlas smiles as Peter gets up off the sofa and strides over to her giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead

"You do still want it, the nurse said we could change our minds, if you think-" Peter starts as Carla puts a finger up to his lips

"Stop, I want this, I always did but then I kept doubting myself. Simon was right, we have a chance to do this properly this time, a proper family home, a spare room for the baby and a garden, albeit a small garden but that doesn’t matter does it?"

"I love you"

"Hey, I love you too"

"Shall we go out for a drink? To the Rover's?" Peter suggests swaying Carla in his arms as she hums in response wrapping her arms around his neck

"Nah, I just want to cuddle with you, block out the world" she grins as Peter kisses her passionately on the lips, his tongue seeking entry into her mouth as Simon enters the room rolling his eyes

"Dad put her down" Simon smirks as Carla bites her lip, Peter groaning in response "You seem rather happy for someone who's just had an abortion"

"Si!" Peter scolds at his son's bluntness 

"What?" he shrugs his shoulders placing his notepad down on the table "I'm just being honest"

"Shall we tell him?" Carla whispers into Peter's ear as he turns to face her with his eyebrows raised, nodding slowly

"Si we have something to tell you" Peter smiles as Simon narrows his eyes wondering what this could be secretly nervous he would get told off for being so against Carla having an abortion

“I guess it can't be as bad as terminating my brother or sister” he mutters as Carla takes a seat next to him rubbing her forehead in exasperation, Peter kissing her on the head gently

“Si" Peter scolds with his eyebrows raised as Simon rolls his eyes moodily

"That's what we wanted to talk to you about," Carla says nervously as Peter holds her hand which was rested on his thigh, Carla not really knowing where to start with the conversation

"Ok" Simon frowns as Carla smiles slightly

"I didn’t get rid of the baby Si" Carla smiles slightly as Simon gasps in response getting up to hug Carla tightly, Carla kissing his head gently 

"Really? This isn't a joke?"

"No it's not, I'm so sorry I didn’t think about this sooner Si, but I think we're ready to do this, me and your dad we had a chat and being at the clinic today really put it into perspective, I can't get rid of this baby" Carla states glancing to Peter who wrapped his arms around both of them, his family finally coming together

"I promise I'll help, I'll babysit, do nappy changes, anything you want" Simon replies eagerly as Carla chuckles lightly at his eagerness causing Peter's heart to swell in excitement for the future, his future, with Carla and Simon as well as anyone else who joins them on the way

"I think this calls for a celebration" Peter states grabbing the Chinese takeaway menu from the side and placing it down on the table, Carla and Simon ticking all the things they wanted on the menu

"You can't want that much Carla" Simon scoffs as Carla laughs biting her lip glancing to Peter wondering if she went a little overboard

"I don’t want it, the baby does" Carla exclaims as Peter chuckles lightly grabbing the menu off Carla and Simon before they bankrupt him, going out of earshot to phone the takeaway place 

"I'm so glad you're keeping it" Simon beams as Carla laughs slightly sitting on the sofa with her blanket and water, Simon sitting beside her

"Hmm you won't be saying that when you have to change the dirty nappies and it crying all the time, but I think it'll be a good thing"

"Probably not but I can't wait"

"Don’t get too excited though, last time I was pregnant I lost it so I don’t want to say anything until I'm past that point to be honest" Carla stresses as Peter bends down in front of her taking her hand and pressing it to his lips stroking her hair gently

"Look we'll be here to support you, just don’t get too stressed and we will try not to cause you stress, just relax and chill, you've already had a scare so I don’t want you to be overdoing it" Peter scolds gently as Carla sighs in agreement snuggling into the sofa further with her blanket as the doorbell goes off

"That'll be the food" Peter kisses her on the forehead going to answer the door returning with a bag full of Chinese food, Carla jumping up and grabbing a container and digging into the luxury

"How much did you order!?" Simon exclaims grabbing a prawn cracker as Carla grins slurping on her chicken noodles as Simon laughs grabbing the pork balls from the bag and digging into them

"Shift" Peter grins so he could sit next to Carla, Simon shifting up the sofa as they indulge in their takeaway

With the food eaten and their stomach's full. Simon was in his room on his Xbox leaving Carla and Peter snuggle up on the sofa together, Carla resting her head on Peter's shoulder as she curls up in a ball with the blanket around her. Peter stroking her hair affectionately wondering where things went so wrong, she glanced up at him poking him in the cheek gently as he leans down to kiss her gently on the lips. Carla trying to snuggle up closer than what was even possible, wrapping her arms around Peter's middle to hold him close.

"We'll talk tomorrow about what happened earlier yeah?" Carla questions as Peter sighs nodding slowly not really knowing where to begin

"It's fine sweetheart in your own time, I don’t want to cause you any more stress, you know that right?"

"I know…I know" she reassures him "But right now I just want to spend my evening with you, happy and in love" she shivers as Peter pouts getting up and heading upstairs briefly grabbing the duvet and returning placing it over her

"Sorry, I'm just feeling a little icky and cold" she whispers as Peter smiles kissing her forehead and going into the kitchen to get a sick bowl for her in case she was sick

"Thank you" she whispers tying her hair up into a ponytail leaning her head on his shoulder with a yawn, Carla falling asleep almost instantly now the duvet was on her leaving Peter to pick her up and take her upstairs to bed knowing that tomorrow would probably change his life forever…


	14. The Time She Went Away

"Carla?" Peter questions, his eyes still closed, his arms reaching out beside him pulling her in but grabbing nothing but thin air, he sighed forcing his eyelids open wondering where she was that was until he heard vomiting from the bathroom

"Oh baby" Peter sighs bending down to scoop her hair up so it was out of her way as she continued to be sick in the toilet, Peter grabbing a hairband for her, tying her hair up so he could grab her toothbrush, dolloping generous amounts of toothpaste onto it as Carla stands up with an unamused expression on her face swiping the toothbrush off him

"Ta" she mumbles brushing her teeth as Peter takes her hair out of the hairband and wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands coming to rest on her stomach rubbing it gently to help ease her nausea

"You feeling ok now?"

"Just don’t mention food then we'll be fine" Carla smiles slightly as Peter laughs kissing the back of her neck softly

"Why didn’t you put pyjama's on?" Carla grins glancing to her outfit which was an old t-shirt of his knowing that Peter probably found it easier when taking her up to bed last night

"Because I thought this would be easier to be honest with you" he gestures to the t-shirt as Carla smiles leaning back into his body sighing at the contact of Peter's hands on her stomach

"Things are going to change this next year, you know that right don’t you?"

“Hmmm for the better though, right?”

“Definitely. We need to have a chat at some point though, that's if you're still up for it?" Peter questions as Carla nods slowly, she didn’t know why she was so nervous, this was Peter, her Peter who would do anything to save her from pain, he was reformed in a way that made her feel the love radiate inside of her

"Let's head downstairs"

"What is that smell?" Carla groans in response as Peter raises an eyebrow not really knowing what she was going on about before glancing into the living room and seeing Simon eating burnt toast again

"Oh…Hi" Simon smiles glancing up from his phone as Carla gags shaking her head and rushing upstairs causing Simon to laugh hysterically, Peter smirking at him before following Carla who was vomiting into the toilet 

"I'm going back to bed" she mumbles grabbing her toothbrush again and heading into the bedroom, Peter following her and sliding in beside her to rub her stomach gently Carla sighing in response she couldn’t bring herself to look at Peter right now, she knew he would instigate the conversation she really didn’t need, or was it that she didn’t want to have it?

"How are you feeling?"

"Sick, but I don’t think I'll be sick, if that makes sense" she chuckles lightly as Peter nods slowly rubbing her stomach still to help settle it further, Peter holding her hand as it rests on her stomach gently

"Shall we talk sweetheart, it's up to you?"

"Alright, I don’t really know where to begin though…"

"Just say what's on your mind sweetheart, that's all you can do" Peter smiles as Carla sighs nodding slowly turning to face him, pulling the covers with her so she could get comfortable, ready to begin the not so faded memories of her time away…

*****

It was another day another disaster within Carla's life, she hated herself more than she could ever imagine. She was staying with Peter and Ken, a place where she should feel safe but right now she felt far from it. She overheard Ken trying to stress to Peter than she was ill, she didn’t fell ill, she didn’t really know what he meant either and that scared her a lot more than she made out, she shuffled downstairs and sat curled up on the sofa, instantly sparking the quietness between Peter and Ken which roused her suspicions further.

"Hey, love" Peter smiles crouching down in front of her as she smiles slightly, her legs brought up to her chest in a tuck position which made her feel safe

Peter got no reply

"Let's get a brew inside of you eh?" Peter smiles kissing her forehead tenderly, Carla trying not to rouse suspicion from swerving away, but the touch of Peter's lips on her forehead made her feel dirty, so dirty, she didn’t deserved to be loved. Peter placed the mug on the table in front of her, the stares of Ken making her feel uncomfortable but she accepted anyway, what else could she do? She smiles slightly at the mug placed in front of her but deep inside it plagued her mind as to think that they were trying to feed her some sort of poison

"Love, I'm just going to go and do a shift or two with Steve, my dad'll be here so you don’t need to worry" Peter smiles as Carla nods taking her medication out of her bag, removing the blister pack and taking a couple of pills and swallowing them to keep up the façade, yet again another bid to stop herself from rousing suspicion but as she felt the drugs travel down her oesophagus she felt like she was being poisoned, the front door clicking shut, she was left with Ken

"Would you like something else to drink Carla?" 

She shakes her head in disagreement, excusing herself to go upstairs, Ken sighing in the process. She went into the bathroom shoving two fingers down her throat to bring up the harmless drugs which entered her system which she believed were poison, she realised how difficult it was to make herself do that but these pills rattling away inside of her added to the underlying torment of her mind. Carla headed back downstairs grabbing the newspaper which was buried underneath a variety of magazines, she began to scribble away at them, various words mashed together which only made sense in her mind, if anyone else was to look at it, it would be like reading a foreign language, they wouldn’t understand. That was when the police knocked at the door, she glanced to Ken who smiled slightly at her, Carla grabbing her bag and coat and heading to the doorstep. They were after her.

She barged past the officers and made a ran for anywhere other than the place she was meant to feel safe, then she saw it, straight ahead of her. The remains of her business, the business she worked so hard to keep afloat but right now felt like the start of all her problems, her cold hands clinging to the metal fencing, her finger's clasped around the wires, she was brought out of her thoughts by a familiar voice.

"Carla"

She jumped and turned to face him, the fear etched on her face, as well as his

"There's nothing to see" Peter insists as Carla narrows her eyes, she was very wary of him, she didn’t know if she could trust him yet

"I'm not going anywhere don’t…don’t make me, tell them that"

"There is no 'them', look it's only me, I'm here to keep you safe." Peter reassures her as she looks at him, her face showing little to no emotion, but Peter could see the fear shining from beneath her, and it scared him that she felt that way

"Look at your feet, you can't walk around like that" 

"Don’t come near me, please don’t touch me, I know what you're trying to do, alright?" she takes a step back as Peter walks forward towards her, deep down inside the fear made her feel nauseated, fearful of being alive, Peter was one of 'them' she was convinced

"Oh love, what's happened to you?" Peter says quietly knowing that she was definitely ill, something wasn’t right, this Carla was a stranger to him in every way, this isn't how they should've been reunited, he was scared but he had to be strong for her. He takes another step forward prompting her to take another one back in trepidation and fear

"Listen to me" Peter grabs her attention "I'm here to help you" she shakes her head "yeah"

"You called the police on me, you- you got them outside the house"

"What police?" Peter narrows his eyes and shakes his head gently, this situation confusing him more than he would've thought

"Company accounts, come on, come on" she says scarily tilting her head to the side, her mind making her believe this was all true and the fear clouding the current process of reality

"Why would I call the police on you? Come on let's face it, I've never been the best of friends with the coppers 'ave I? It's me you're talking to" Peter reassures her as she laughs, a somewhat strained laugh, laced with fear and the definite works of her mind

"I heard you" she says, her mind convincing that a simple conversation was something which was so sinister and traumatic, but Peter just shakes his head confused at what her mind was telling her she heard or saw "I heard you and Ken, whispering about me. You were plotting, you sent Alya to spy on me, outside the house"

"If Alya was there it was pure coincidence. Carla look at me please. I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that, it's Peter, it's me"

"They're trying to get to me, they think I'm rotten, in here" she gestures to her heart "they know it"

"You're frightened aren't you?" Peter questions and she agrees nodding her head "Ok well I'll tell you what we'll do. Let's go to the medical centre because we'll be safe there, yeah?"

She still looked unconvinced

"Look you can't walk around like that, you've already cut yourself, you could get infected, we really need to get it looked at ok?" Peter insists as Carla nods finally in agreement "So you come with me"

"That copper will be there won't he? Waiting when we get there-"

"No"

And that was it she was off. He followed her swiftly. Peter managing to get her to the medical centre to see if they could get her checked over, as well as to see if they would look into her mental health. He sat her down in the waiting area, she tried to get away again, but he made her stay which made her feel very uneasy whilst he spoked to the staff, they eventually managed to see someone, none other than Toyah Battersby but Peter was convinced that this was probably best, someone he could relate to, as well to explain who wouldn’t judge, he knew Toyah was good at what she did and that she would help Carla.

Toyah gestured for her to go into the room, Carla clinging onto Peter knowing that he would protect her, the reassurance from Peter before helping her through this moments, his words playing in his head which made her feel a little safer than she did before. She sat down on the examination bench allowing Toyah to dab her feet with clean warm water to washup the cuts which remained.

"When you haven't been sleeping your mind goes into overdrive"

"Well I don’t want to shut my eyes"

"You must be exhausted"

Carla hums in agreement

And anxious?"

Carla hums again in agreement

"On a scale of one to ten, how safe do you feel? One being totally calm and-"

"Nine" Carla cuts in wanting this situation to be over and done with, wanting to be free to fight her demons, or cherish them, she didn’t know which "What she been saying about me?"

"Who?" Toyah places her foot back down into the bowl of water

"Rana" Carla states as Toyah stares ahead for a bit before returning eye contact with Carla, something roused Toyah's suspicions that Carla's reality was definitely warped into something more sinister

"I- I know she's here, I know she is" Carla shakes her head gently convinced with what her mind was telling her, no one could change that

"Rana died Carla. Don’t you remember? The accident at Underworld?" Toyah questions, a soft frown on her face trying to pry more information from Carla's world, from the visions of her mind, from her warped reality

"Did she though? Or are they just saying that as a test?" Carla looked somewhat smug, glancing to the corner of the room, not engaging with Toyah's eye contact

"What kind of test?"

"To test me, test everyone, my badness," Carla says convinced this was true, but the look on Toyah's face seemed like it wasn’t and it was starting to make her heart beat with fear and anxiety

"Is that a camera?" Carla nods towards the desk at a 'thank you' present Toyah received from a patient

"No, it's just a thank you present"

The shrill sound of the phone interrupted Toyah's confusion, Carla still staring at the ornament on the desk, Toyah's voice muffled in the background then before she knew it Toyah's attention was back on her

"You must think I'm stupid" Carla mutters, her arms across her chest, she was pretty sure she left Toyah speechless with her confessions

"You're in safe hands here" Toyah assures her

"What you smiling at me for? You've always hated my guts" Carla retorts, there was one thing missing though, her voice wasn’t dripping with sarcasm as usual, even that made her feel different

"And always known the feeling was mutual" Toyah returns her joke in what Carla assumed was a way to make light of the situation she was in

"Are you going to be relaying all this back to your boyfriend?" Carla says, she needed to know, she need to trust someone but there was something about Toyah which piqued her curiosity, she just didn’t know what

"What we say in this room is confidential, unless I think that you're in danger, how safe do you feel?" Toyah received no answer, Carla dipping her chin down into her chest trying to block out the mingled screams of her mind "Just stay here a minute"

Carla sat on the uncomfortable examination bench thinking to herself about all the things which went wrong, it made her very uneasy, the police, Peter and Toyah and it was the thought of them both which made her realise that there was something else going on behind the scenes and her assumptions were basically Rana who was playing with her mind to make it control her body in the ways Carla didn’t know anymore, in the ways which made her feel so foreign to herself, she glanced around the room, coming across the window, she shuffled onto the examination bench on her knees, pulling the slatted blinds up and holstering the window up with great force and that was it, she was free, she slipped out of the window hoping to never be seen again, and the fact that she was being watched from all angle of the earth, it frightened her to the core and made her feel even worse than she did moments prior. 

She headed as far away as she possibly could, somewhere she remembered with great ease, the challenging times of her childhood, she had her bag, her coat and her hoodie to keep her warm, but no food, or shoes. She got on the nearest bus out of the area handed over the remnants of change from the bottom of her bag and that was it she was off to her estate, glancing down to the wrinkled bus ticket in her hands she realised that she only had enough money for a few stops before her destination, she sighed in response and got off the bus, there was a charity shop nearby, she went in nervously the voice in her head laughing at her scraping the bottom of the barrel, she knew she would be seen dead in a charity shop but right now she did everything she could to survive the horrid trip in her tortured mind wanted to put her through. She grabbed a pair of black canvas-like shoes and placed them on the counter handing a ten-pound note over which she had in her purse. She glanced around and that was when she spotted the CCTV camera in the corner of the room, she grabbed the shoes and made her way swiftly out of the area, stopping briefly at a cash point to empty out as much as she could from her bank, stopping in a local park and sliding the shoes onto her cut up feet. She headed off to find her estate.

Scared was the only way to describe it, the low buzz in the back of her mind, the mingled sound of the voices of her demons she needed to go, she couldn’t trust anyone and at that point, she only thought going back to the roots was the only thing she could do to make the situation better. After escaping the clutches of Toyah Battersby and Peter Barlow she was off to find peace in her mind and soul, she needed to get away and she wouldn’t do it without a fight.

She got a bus to her local estate, wondering around with her now-signature dishevelled look causing obvious stares from the people who meant so little to her as well as the people chanting trivial nonsense in her head that she tried to block out every hour of the day. She sighed when approaching the familiar building which was etched in memories in the back of her mind, the generic council estate her thoughts were interrupted by the rustling of bushes in the distance, she approached in trepidation which alerted the bearded man to her ragged and dirty clothes.

She approached the back door and that was when she entered the derelict squat, people doing drugs, graffiti on the walls this was pretty accurate for areas like this even back in the day when she was an innocent child. They welcomed her with open arms, the leery men who were watching her like carnivorous animals in need for their next feed, she handed them a wad of cash, enough to buy heroin or any other class A drug they could afford with it, and that was it she was upstairs and that was where she stayed, making herself at home the best she could.

She glanced around her new surroundings, mould on the walls the smell of damp and at the day she realised this was what she deserved, she deserved the hungry looks from all the men and the voices chanting in her head, she deserved it all as she was the worst version of herself she has ever been. She settled herself in the corner of the room on a rotting piece of foam, her bag beside her as she settles down for what would be the longest time of her life but at least she was away from the people she loved so she couldn’t hurt them.

Every day was different here, some days it was a breeze other's it was morbid and disgusting, she was still surrounded by leery men but these men held something over her, something so sinister as well as intriguing. In many ways there were like her when she was a child, foraging around trying to make ends meet and that in itself brought a sense of similarity to the situation, that was until one of them knocked on the door, they didn’t bother to wait for her reply, they just sat down beside her, it was important for her to remember that they had done this many times before and she was getting used to it, she knew she should be scared the first time it happened but right now it didn’t matter, he approached her hesitantly sitting beside her on the now crumpled piece of foam and offered her a needle. She turned her nose up and piqued one of her eyebrows up in interest.

"Have some, it makes you forget" he tempts her as she shakes her head slowly grabbing one of the cigarettes he had instead but the mystery of the smoke it didn’t do it for her. So she decided she may as well try drugs, she found comfort in the pain when he tied the band around the top of her arm making sure there was a vein suitable enough, he inserted it into her, the needle scratching at the surface of her skin to inject the liquid substance into her body she didn’t even flinch when it entered her, she deserved the pain, her mind deserved the poison and her life was not worth living.

Similar things happened, drugs, cigarettes even spliffs but after that one occasion of what she presumed was heroin when in fact she was told at a later date it was ketamine, she was never going to go back there, it was torturous but it made her feel so much more alive than before, but she turned them down but at the end of the day she didn’t know that the ketamine heightened her mental state into making what she believed was making her feel as if she was more out of control then usual but they assured her that it was normal and that things would get better in time. But with drugs came raids, she knew this very well especially in council estates and that she had to now be prepared for all eventualities.

Two weeks, it had been two weeks since she arrived here. Carla had been offered various drugs but she would never go there, as well as the men staring her down constantly and then there was a raid, these were normal in these areas in Manchester especially run down council estates, she hid upstairs quietly ensuring the deteriorating walk in wardrobe door was open just enough so she could listen intently on the conversations going on downstairs.

It was Peter, and Johnny, her heart started racing, the recognition sparking fear in her body, Rana would find her and take her away, she needed to get away but the safest thing to do was to wait it out. She heard shouting, so much shouting but being upstairs she was hardly in a position to depict what was going on below her and then it went silent, she stepped out of the wardrobe glancing briefly out of the window seeing Peter and Johnny getting into the car, she headed downstairs, greeted with one of the squatters.

"You need to go"

"I know" she pauses "it's not safe anymore"

And that was that she was off, she walked around the estate and a man with a red car pulled up beside her as she took a breather on a park bench, he got out and smiled, she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He sat down beside her, she shuffled away not liking the attention that was being brought to herself.

"Hey it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you"

She narrows her eyes, feeling sceptical about the whole thing still

"I can take you somewhere, treat you to some food if you want?"

"Why are you doing this?" she whispers glancing to him briefly, his rugged beard and silver fox appearance causing her to smile slightly, someone being so gentle with her when she felt so lost, it made her smile

"Because I think you need cheering up, you seem kind of down, that's all, come on let me treat you to a meal or something at my place of work, they would be willing to accommodate you if you want?"

"Alright then, I guess it saves me from sleeping the streets" she shrugs as he leads her into the car, she straps herself into the passenger seat revelling in the fact she could trust this man, he made her feel safe and he didn’t judge her for looking a mess.

They arrived at the Riverlands Hotel, he booked her a room, she smiled at his generosity someone being nice to her was a welcomed thing in her life right now, her paranoia and anxieties seemed to just sizzle away and she could smile for the first time in a while. He put an arm around her middle and led her up the stairs into the room, she glanced around the furnished setting in front of her, she placed her handbag down on the bed

"So what do you want to eat?" 

He hands her a menu

"A-Are you sure about this?"

"More than, choose something, it's on the house, I mean I do own the place"

"Alright then, the carbonara?"

"I'll ring down, you get comfortable, have a shower if you want" 

"I'm fine, ta. I would prefer if you stayed" Carla smiles slightly as Ray smiles at her sitting beside her on the bed taking her hand in his running his thumb over the soft skin of the back of her hand, Carla looking up into the innocent eyes of this stranger, he leans forward capturing her lips onto his, she moves a hand to his hair, he does the same to her, Carla pushing him down onto the bed, the rest was history…

Waking up next to a stranger seemed better than waking up alone in a dark and dingy squat. She smiled slightly turning onto her back to stare up at the cream coloured ceiling, images playing like an encrypted screen in front of her as they cascade over the ceiling, she glanced to her phone which was on the bedside cabinet, she picked it up and she looked at the date, she sighed.

"Morning"

"Yeah" Carla mumbles slightly as she's pulled inwards towards his body 

"Last night was fun" 

"I guess so" she replies cryptically, Ray raising his eyebrows in response noticing her ragged appearance and no set of spare clothes, he slid out of bed and grabbed a robe for both of them, clicking on the stereo on

"Thanks" Carla replies offering a quick glance into his eyes before turning away to avoid his gaze, her heart started racing for no reason, a horrible feeling brewing in the bottom of her stomach 

"No problem, if you don’t mind me asking…you are ok?"

"What do you mean?" she narrows her eyes suspiciously, then she remembered Rana, maybe Rana got to him, maybe he knew where Rana was?

"Um-" he starts not really knowing how to continue without causing offence "-I don’t mean to offend you when I say this but, are you homeless?"

"Kind of, yeah" she glances down to the floor somewhat embarrassed, she then remembered the 'love' she thought she felt last night, maybe it was time to let her already warped feelings develop into more

"I can offer you a room here? Free of charge of course"

"No strings attached? but let me guess a valued businessman like you, there's bound to be a catch"

"No, I'll even keep you company sometimes if you want?"

"Seems tempting-" she thought back again to the feelings of the sex she had, the escape from her mind "-how can I know to trust you?"

"You have my word"

She did have his word, she listened to the music which was playing, something so similar to something she hadn't listened to for a while, it piqued her mind she tried to think about where she heard it prior to this moment but she just couldn’t extract the memory from the pile of warped ones in her mind. She rubbed her forehead in a bid to escape her torture but right now in that moment, Ray wrapped his arms around her slender figure and kissed her hungrily on the neck but she pulled away and turned to face him. A knock at the door interrupting her as he heads over taking the tray from the room service which he ordered last night and placing two bowls of porridge down on the table.

"So what is this deal then?" Carla questions as she tucks into the bowl of porridge in front of her

"Well last night, I think you enjoyed it-"

"I did"

"Ok, well you could have more of that if you accepted a room here"

"What's in it for me?" Carla narrows her eyes suspiciously wondering if Rana had got to him, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her, she placed her now empty bowl on the desk, him following placing a hand over hers

"A free room here, for as long as you need as well as free healthcare, private healthcare"

"Hmm, sounds tempting but how do I know no one's going to find me here?"

"What?" he stutters as Carla frowns in response as if it was obvious, she was convinced that Rana had got to him and that he was helping her in some way but she wanted to be brave and interrogate it

"How do I know you're not working for them?"

"What are you on about?"

"Rana, you're not working for Rana?" she questions her inner turmoil getting to her causing her to spiral out of control, causing her to feel intimidated all of a sudden

"Carla, I don’t know…"

"Right, sorry"

"It's ok…look the offer still stands…I just need to pop out and do something for a bit, I'll be back later, make yourself at home" Ray smiles as Carla nods watching him get dressed and leave leaving Carla alone with her thoughts once more, she pottered around making sure everything was secure enough to let her stay here safely without the worry of Rana getting to her

"Wait!"

"Yes Carla?"

"I need your help with something, that healthcare might be useful…"

"Alright well what do you need from me, as long as you stay of course" Ray smiles taking her hand as she looks into his eyes, narrowing hers

"I'll show you" she smiles grabbing her bag and chucking her hood up taking this strangers hand so he could lead her to his car

She directed him to a local pharmacist and especially when she glanced at the date on her phone, she saw that it was the 27th, she sighed in response, she was late, she could not be pregnant, no way she would allow it as she was such a bad person. Then she remembered the shot of ketamine she injected into herself, this baby was already poisoning her in many ways possible and the thought of it living it made her want to be sick. She thought back to the injection of ketamine she let them inject into her, this baby suffered so badly and she was surprised that she didn’t have a miscarriage but she thought she deserved to miscarry this baby. Peter's baby, that in itself sent an unwelcome shiver down her spine and at that point she wanted to put herself out of her misery and get rid. Maybe this private healthcare will come in useful after all. 

"I need you to buy me a test."

"You want me to go in there and buy you a pregnancy test?"

"That's what I asked, yes?"

"Are you out of your mind, we used protection-"

"It's not yours, it's someone else's, someone who's after me and it's best no one finds out about this…" Carla mutters as Ray sighs stepping out of the car and heading to the drug store as Carla sighs in relief glancing to her phone, 60 missed calls from Peter, she sighed wondering if she was pregnant, this evil manipulative leech sucking the life out of her, she hated it with every ounce of her body, Ray got back in the car and handed her the prescription bag

"We never speak of this again" she laments as Ray nods heading off towards what she thought was the hotel, but he stopped off at what looked like solicitors, she raised an eyebrow turning in her seat

"I just need to pick up some documents, will you be alright here?"

"Absolutely fine"

"Good, I'll be only 5 mins" he smiles, he was literally 5 minutes and soon after they made their way back to the hotel 

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"I'm more curious to know what's in that envelope, it looks official" Carla bites her lip as Ray sighs taking a seat next to her as she leans up against the headboard 

"I really like you Carla, you're beautiful but I just need to know that my position in this world won't be tarnished, so you will be required to sign this paperwork, if you do sign it I will give you a cash inject of your choice of amount" 

"Sounds tempting, where do I sign?"

"Here-"

"Hang on a minute, I have a deal for you as well" Carla smiles slightly wondering if she was being a little overbearing with her demands

"Go on…"

"If I am pregnant, will you help me get rid of it, I mean, I'll only sign if you help me get rid of it" she compromises as Ray sighs nodding in agreement knowing it was best to make her sign to protect his reputation, he then proposed another offer

"Ok deal, I can even let you use my private health care, like I suggested prior"

"Good, sorry to be a cheek again but could you maybe create another contract then maybe we could have some fun after?" she replies suggestively licking her lips as he bites his lip nodding giving hid solicitor a ring

"My solicitor will drop it off, why don’t you do that test then I'll go and meet him?"

"Sure, I'll see you in a bit then?"

"You will, you have my word" he winks at her as she smiles grabbing the prescription bag and heading into the bathroom to do the test leaving it face down, she didn’t want to look at the results, she heard the door click shut, she stepped out and she pounced at her lover, her tongue on his as they stumble over to the bed pulling at each other's clothes desperate to feel their skin on each other's…

"So are you pregnant?"

"Oh I didn’t look" she mumbles sliding out of bed, the linen of the bed spread used to cover her modesty as she headed into the bathroom to pick up the test

Pregnant 2-4 weeks

She sighed, she already felt like the worse person in the world and this child would suffer because of that, no, she couldn’t have it she needed to get rid, to protect herself, this life growing inside of her literally poisoning her blood, tainting it with despair and hurt, she hated it more than she hated herself and the fact it was Peter's, Ray who tried to pass her off as being 'ill' it made her feel revolted.

"It was positive…where do I sign then?" Carla questions as Ray smiles grabbing the contracts out of the envelopes they were in, both of them well put together confidentiality agreements, one for her health at the time and one for the illusive sex the two parties had

"Here-" he points to a dotted line on the first agreement "-and here" he points to the dotted line on the second agreement, Carla skimming through it quickly wanting to get rid of this poisonous spawn which was growing inside of her, she signed her name, well not her real name, her maiden name, a name which made her feel less valued than the ground she walked on

"Ok, we have a deal, this doesn’t get out, so I need to give you an amount?" Carla holds her hand out for him to shake, he does, a firm and convincing shake, she smiled slightly at the simplicity

"Pretty much"

"£100,000"

"That's fine, I'll fill it in if you're happy with that amount?" he confirms as Carla nods in agreement, Ray writing the figure down on the contract

"Between us?"

"Between us, how about I ring the clinic for you?"

"Ta, I just need to get this sorted"

"No problem" he takes his phone out finding the number of the clinic to make an appointment for Carla "Is tomorrow fine Carla?"

"Yeah" she smiles glancing up at him briefly before turning her attention back to her hands where they were fiddling with the tie of her robe

"Right that's booked, I'll take you tomorrow, you'll need to go back to get the second pill tomorrow, so I'll take you again as well"

"Thank you so much, I owe you one"

"Well you know how you can repay me" he smirks as she sighs standing up and leaning in to kiss him as they undress themselves again heading back to bed for another intimate encounter…

She woke up again and sighed in despair, today was the day she would be termination the spawn inside of her, Carla shoving her clothes on and making herself a highly caffeinated coffee causing her love to rouse from his sleep. He flashed her a seductive smile as she reciprocates the smile, she forced it out and it made her feel uncomfortable, she just wanted this over and done with.

"I better not eat, I don’t know if I'm meant to or not" 

"Fair enough, we better get going though" Ray shoves his clothes on causing Carla to smile slightly, as she headed to the bathroom and got changed herself and that was that they were off to a fancy private clinic in town

"Carla Connor, she's my partner" Ray greets the receptionist another lie he told but one which was justifiable in the circumstances

"Take a seat one of my colleagues should be with you soon" the receptionist gestures to the comfy seats which were in the waiting room both Carla and Ray forcing themselves to look like a loved up couple as one of the nurses approaches them

"Carla Connor?"

"That's me, I can go on my own…" Carla smiles planting a small kiss on Ray's cheek to keep up the façade heading off with the nurse

"Please take a seat, I understand you're hear for a termination?"

"I am"

"Do you have any idea how far along you are?" the nurse questions grabbing her notepad

"Around two to three weeks, I've already taken a test" 

"Ok that's great, I will explain how this works as I reckon a medical abortion would be best fit. You will be given the first pill which will stop the hormone which allows the pregnancy to continue working. The second pill will be administered in 24 hours' time which will start to break down the lining of the womb within four to six hours. You will be able to change your mind any time before you swallow the first pill”

"Seems pretty straight forward" Carla states as the nurse nods heading over to grab some leaflets for Carla to take with her in preparation for tomorrow

"Right I need to ask you a few questions before we begin, if that's alright?"

"Its fine" Carla glances around the room briefly making sure that she was safe and that no one was out to get her

"Why have you chosen to have a termination?"

"Well now just isn't the right time I suppose and my age isn't really on side I guess" Carla keeps it vague as the nurse nods writing it down on the piece of paper

"Ok that's great, did you come to a decision with your partner about having a termination?"

"I did" she lies "we both agreed we were not in any position to raise a child"

"Ok, have you considered going back on contraception after having the termination?"

"Yes, I was on contraception but I messed up my pill so therefore I became pregnant, and trust me I will be more vigilant to make sure I take it every day" Carla assures the nurse who nods going over to grab the pill for Carla to take handing the pill to her and a cup of water, Carla downing the pill in one swift motion

"Thank you" Carla says handing the cup back to the nurse who smiles

"Like I said before you will need to come back tomorrow to have the second pill, is there any time which is helpful for you?"

"Maybe the afternoon" Carla says as the nurse nods slotting Carla in for the afternoon handing her an appointment card, Carla taking it and leaving the room to be greeted with Ray who takes her back to the hotel, Carla in no doubt that he would want to have sex with her when she got back at least when she started bleeding tomorrow she would be free from having sex as she would be in a lot of discomfort.

It was the next day and the day where her life would change for the better, Carla waking up naked beside Ray yet again, she sighed as she always did grabbing her clothes and putting them on as well as her ignoring her kidney drugs on the table like she always did. She made herself a coffee and within an instant it woke Ray.

"Morning"

"Back at ya" Carla smirks watching him change again Carla sighing at the fact her mind would hopefully stop torturing her when she got rid of the leech growing inside of her.

"What time's the appointment?" he questions as Carla grabs the card from her bag

"Um, mid-day, you still alright to drop me off then?"

"I don’t see why I wouldn’t be?" Ray grins as Carla smiles slightly, her smile fading as the voices in her head started rambling on but having Ray there seemed to distract them

"I don’t mind getting a bus or something.."

"Carla it's fine, I'll take you" he reassures her kissing her neck causing Carla to squirm slightly, she was getting rather uncomfortable being picked up and used for sex, the meaning of love starting to fade from this situation

"We best be getting off then" Carla states as Ray nods, Carla grabbing her bag as well as the appointment card as they both head to Ray's car who drives them to the clinic again

"Carla Connor" she mumbles to the receptionist who gestures her to take a seat, Ray sitting beside her giving some sense of eerie Déjà vu to the situation, a nurse appearing gesturing for her to go through, leaving Ray in the waiting room

"Hello again Carla, I have the second pill here for you but I need to go through the side effects first"

"Yeah, that's fine" Carla says quietly offering the smallest of smiles not wanting to rouse suspicion for being over enthusiastic about getting rid of this baby

“So the most common is the risk of infection which can be treated with antibiotics. Some of the less common risks are that the pregnancy can remain in the womb, continuation of the pregnancy, excessive bleeding”

"Ok, that's fine" Carla smiles slightly as the nurse places the cup of water and pill down on the table, Carla smiling slightly at her, Carla picking it up and swallowing it down with a swish of water

"Do you have any questions for me Carla?"

"Will I get cramps or…?"

"Most likely yes, they may be a bit more painful than period ones so I recommend hot water bottles and plenty of rest no vigorous exercise, do you have any more questions for me?"

"No that's it" Carla smiles

"Ok well take care if you have any concerns or major bleeding head straight to the hospital and they will be able to help" 

"Thank you" Carla smiles grabbing her bag and heading out of the room, Ray leading her to the car so that they could talk briefly

"All done?"

"Yeah, thank you so much I owe you one. Is it ok to drop off at the shops on the way back, I need to pick up some supplies, you know" Carla dips her head as Ray sighs with a nod, heading off the shops so Carla could pick up her bits for later on. She returned as quick as she could, Ray taking her back to the hotel so she could head up to the room and rest knowing that from this day, whether she would remember it or not, her life changed forever.

*****

"Oh Carla" Peter sighs as she beams somewhat happily that she could now remember most of her time away, not in great detail mind you but that didn’t matter, all that mattered was the fact Peter forgave her for what she did

"I'm sorry"

"It's ok, it's just a shock that's all. I don’t really know what to say"

"Then don’t" Carla starts "Peter all that matters now is this baby growing inside of me, Simon, and this house as well as how much I love you now, I don’t want this to change us, I don’t want it to effect the everyday things which we will do as a couple, I know I hurt you, I do, but right now I just want to move on"

"I understand, I want that too, I just can't believe things were that bad for you"

"It was scary, but I know now that what happened wasn’t my fault deep down, although sometimes it may feel like it, it’s not and after remembering that I came to the realisation that what happened, it happened for a reason"

"I guess it did" Peter muses "I love you, you know that and whatever is thrown our way, we'll get through it, wont we?"

"We will. Me, You, Simon and whoever decides to join us on the way. This is our future baby, one bright future which I can't wait to live"


	15. 6 months later...

Things were never straight forward in the lives of Carla Connor and Peter Barlow. The last five months had been the most challenging yet. Carla was drained emotionally and physically, she was convinced the world wanted to punish her for her treatment of Peter last year but Peter made sure that he was her glue to stick her back together again. Their lives were changing rapidly by the moment, every day. Carla becoming bigger and Peter trying to reduce the stress in her life. It had been hard for him every day to walk down the street and bump into Carla's rapist but that didn’t matter, not now Carla was almost full-term, she was more excited than ever to meet her baby although the worry was there for her, it always would be, the constant thoughts plaguing her mind questioning to herself whether she was ready for such a big commitment so soon after her psychosis but right now she felt like her life was heading in the right direction.

Carla woke next to Peter as usual like she did every day, she groaned in response shifting around in bed trying to keep her grip on dreamland but with the baby moving all her attempts were seen fruitless. Peter was stroking her hair ready for her to complain about feeling fat, feeling tired or sick and even though she was near the end Peter was there to support her every day.

"Do you want something to eat, love?"

"Hmm maybe just some cereal" she contemplates as Peter kisses her forehead sliding out of bed and heading downstairs to ger her breakfast, the post being shoved through the door, various pieces of junk mail along with a confidential letter addressed to Carla, he placed it on the tray along with the cereal and made his way upstairs

"This came for you" Peter smiles handing her the letter as she groans in response, she was obviously in a very bad mood for whatever reason, she tore it open and read the contents, double-checking in disbelief, tears filling her eyes as they trail down her face

"Peter…look" she hands the letter to him, he read it in his head and at that point he wanted to cheer in joy but he knew Carla really didn’t need this now, she was about to drop and this couldn’t really come at a worse time

"Ok I don’t want you to worry-"

"Worry?! You don’t want me to worry, seriously Peter, he's going down for sexually assaulting women and making them sign gagging orders and you tell me not to worry, I'm going to that hearing" Carla confirms as Peter groans in response, this stress was not good for her and the fact it was next week and nearer her due date it scared him

"Carla please just think of the baby-"

"I am thinking of the baby Peter, I'm thinking about the future with that man locked up for what he did to me and other people most likely, I am going to that hearing"

"Well I'm coming with you then"

"Fine"

"Ok then, we're not going to think about this until next week ok? I want you to relax and take it easy" Peter scolds her as Carla groans falling back against the cushions rolling up her pyjama top and sighing, spooning a mouthful of cereal into her mouth

"What date is the hearing-"

"So much for not talking about it, the 3rd of January" 

"Great my birthday, ok I won't ask any more questions. Are you at work today?" Carla questions as Peter nods slowly causing Carla to groan in response, she had been on bed rest for 2 weeks now and another day just made her annoyed

"I can see if I can get off early but I doubt it, Simon's in his room so if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask" Peter smiles kissing her forehead as she pulls the duvet up over her body to keep warm

"Right be good, and rest" Peter smiles leaving Carla to contemplate her life again, clicking the TV on to occupy her thoughts rubbing her bump gently before groaning and getting up to head downstairs as the door opens Peter appearing with a smile

"What are you doing back?"

"Well I had a little chat with Steve and he said that I could spend the day with you, I can go if you-"

"No stay, please stay" Carla pouts her lips as Peter wraps her up in a hug placing his hands on her bump, the baby reacting to the brief affection it was receiving 

"So what do you want to do today then?" 

"Sleep, you could give me a massage if you're offering" Carla replies cheekily as Peter rolls his eyes taking her hand and leading her upstairs into the bathroom to run her a bath, grabbing a variety of massage oils he got her as a Christmas present just days prior, Carla stepping into the bath, Peter dropping a couple of lavender-infused massage oil drops into his hands and kneading the skin of her back

"Oh thank you so much baby" Carla groans in pleasure as Peter kisses her gently on the shoulder inhaling the scent of the oils

"No problem my love, I understand this is tough on you. I can't wait to meet it" Peter smiles patting her bump gently as Carla smiles coyly, wrapping her arms around his neck

"Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later" she smiles slightly as Peter kisses her gently on the lips as she gets out of the bath shoving her pyjama's on and heading into the bedroom and climbing into bed, Peter getting in the other side and holding her close

"What do you reckon it is?" Peter questions rubbing his hand gently over her bump

"A baby, I'd be worried if it was anything else to be honest" she smirks as Peter slaps her lightly on the arm causing her to grin up at him

"Seriously though, it's hard for me as I'm not you" Peter smiles as Carla laughs quietly glancing down to her bump seeing the baby push her skin around, Peter poking her deformed stomach

"Oi! Peter stop!" Carla says swatting his hand away "Anyway I think it's a boy if I had to guess, but really I have no idea, I never got this far before"

"Hmm, we need to get the hospital bag ready as well. We're really unprepared in case you go into labour" Peter suggests as Carla nods slowly, the reality setting in that she could give birth within a matter of days and they had nothing ready for when she went into labour 

"We need to pick a going home outfit as well" Carla huffs sliding out of bed and heading into the spare bedroom which was going to be the baby's nursery rummaging through the clothes they had been given as gifts as well as what they've purchased

"You also need to build that cot at some point," Carla says pointing a pack of new baby grows at Peter who laughs slightly heading over to the flat-packed cot

"I'll do it now your highness while you sort out the changing table" Peter smirks slapping her arse causing her to giggle tipping the nappies out onto the top of the changing table and organising them in the holder which was available, stuffing the rest of them into one of the draws before wincing in pain

"Ugh please stop kicking my ribs" Carla groans as Peter sighs wrapping his arms around her and resting his hands at the top of her bump knowing this usually helped to calm the baby, Carla grabbing an outfit that Michelle sent over from Ireland for Christmas, folding it up and placing it in another drawer

"I like that one," Peter says as Carla raises an eyebrow grabbing the outfit out of the drawer again and looking at it, tilting her head to the side in contemplation. It was a black fluffy romper suit with little bear ears

"Hmm yeah I like it to, it'll be nice and warm for the baby won't it, let's have this one?" Carla confirms as Peter nods heading over to where the pieces of flatpack furniture were spewed out all over the floor, Simon hovering in the doorway

"You're letting him build it?" Simon questions as Carla smirks rolling her eyes Peter glaring at them both

"I can build a cot Si, I did a good job with the changing table so I'm pretty sure I can build this" Peter retorts as Carla beckons Simon over

"Can you get that for me?" Carla points to the shelf above the changing table as Simon smiles grabbing the box which contained the baby monitor

"Ta, I don’t suppose you want to set this up? You're much better at technology than me" Carla says as Simon nods in agreement sitting on the rocking chair in the corner of the room and plugging the baby monitor in to set it up, Carla wincing in pain again

"Right I've had enough of this" Carla states angrily poking her bump as Peter raises his eyebrows at her outburst, Carla stomping down the stairs and grabbing a jar of pickles hoping that if she was to satisfy her cravings then the baby would stop moving, Peter looking at her from the doorway going to wrap his arms around her and kissing her on the side of her head

"Are you happy now?"

"No, I don’t want pickle"

"Then what do you want?" Peter questions as Carla sighs rummaging through the cupboards pulling out the Nutella and scooping it out onto a pickle and taking a bite, Peter scrunching his nose up at the horrible combination of food

"Do you want some?" Carla offers Peter the pickle with a cheeky grin Peter shaking his head as Carla stuff the whole thing into her mouth groaning in satisfaction

"How do you even eat that?" Peter grimaces as Carla shrugs not really able to provide him with the answers he wanted

"I don’t know, it just tastes good" 

"You should be resting-"

"Peter, I've been resting for weeks now, please just let me do something, my due date is in three days and to be honest with you I just want it out" Carla complains as Peter sighs swaying her gently in his arms leaning in to kiss her on the lips gently

"You taste like pickle" he scrunches his face up as Carla grins planting kisses all over his face

"Hmm yeah? I'll tell you what we could do to get this thing out…" Carla mutters suggestively as Peter raises his eyebrows over her blatant come on, Carla kissing his passionately on the lips, Peter taking Carla's hand and leading her upstairs in their bid to get the baby out…


	16. The End of The Beginning

"Happy Birthday, baby" Peter smiles wrapping his arms around her whilst she curls into his body the best she could with the baby in the way

"Mmm, thank you" she whispers as she stretches out beside him, Peter placing a hand on her bump, the baby reacting to the brief affection

"Doesn’t want to come out does it?" Peter questions as Carla groans in response, she was feeling very fed up to say the least, she was three days over her due date and her was very grumpy

"Nope but right now I need to get ready to go to court" Carla smiles heading over to her wardrobe running through the abundance of maternity clothes which no longer fit her as she was so big now

"None of my clothes fit Peter" Carla complains as Peter sighs wondering if it was a good idea to let her go to Ray's sentencing still

"Maybe it’s a sign you shouldn't go?" Peter inputs as Carla glares at him, they had this conversation many times before Carla was still insistent on going either way and there was no way Peter was going to stop her. She wanted the closure and so did Peter to an extent but sometimes Peter was left to question whether it was a good idea

"Peter I'm going"

"Ok, I won't say anything else on the matter" he smiles kissing her forehead gently as she smiles slightly "Do you want any brekkie?"

"I'm not really that hungry to be honest" Carla shrugs as Peter sighs running a hand through her hair to comfort her a bit

"We need to head off soon, it's not too late to-" Peter starts for only Carla to glare at him shaking her head knowing exactly what he was about to say

"No, Peter. Get this into your thick skull. I. Am. Going."

"Alright, come on then" Peter says putting an arm around her shoulders and leading her to the car as they make the journey to court

"How many years do you reckon he'll get?" Carla questions Peter who just shrugs, he was hoping life but that was very unlikely, but he was hoping it would be substantial enough for Carla to gain closure from it

"Not sure love. We best head in" Peter smiles slightly as Carla nods linking arms with Peter and signing in with the receptionist at the court both of them waiting in the room beside the gallery

"What are you doing here?" Carla questions folding her arms pointing to Bethany, Alya returning with a coffee for them both

"I could ask you the same question, let me guess you're here for Michelle-"

"Sorry I was late, wait what…?" Michelle questions glancing to Peter then Carla who shakes her head unamused, Bethany biting her lip

"I thought you were in London" Carla points to Bethany who just shrugs "And I thought you were in Ireland" Carla points to Michelle

"I was, now I'm here ready to see this scum bag be sent down for what he did" Bethany grins as Alya nods in agreement to her statement, Carla turning to face Michelle who was biting her lip guiltily

"What are you doing here?" Carla questions Michelle who shifts her weight from one foot to the other, her arms crossed over her chest

"I could ask you the same question," Michelle says tilting her head to the side as Carla groans in response shaking her head annoyed with the whole situation 

"The same reason" Carla points to Bethany, being vague on purpose knowing that she would get sympathy overload for what Ray did to her

"Oh my god! It was-"

"You may enter the gallery now" a member of staff steps out from a side room allowing everyone to head in to the stand, Carla sitting next to Peter holding his hand, the other placed on her bump rubbing gently trying to ease her cramping muscles, Carla glancing to the judge

She didn’t know what to think at this point in time, she was scared for the future and that was something she had no control over. Her thoughts were running wildly though her brain ,she didn’t know what to do for the best. She glanced to Bethany who was smiling widely holding Alya's hand both of them affected by Ray's behaviour then to Michelle who was clutching onto her hand, it was like her brain was unable to process the moment in all the glory it should be. Everyone engrossed in what the judge was saying apart from herself which caused her to feel lost within her treacherous mind.

"We hereby sentence you on the rape of Carla Connor which you will serve 10 years due to the psychological state that the victim was in, sexual offences committed on Michelle Sinead Connor and Alya Nazir which you will serve a total of 5 years for, you will serve a total of 15 years, you will be not available to apply for parole and will remain in custody until your sentence has come to an end. If you may leave with the officers"

"Peter…" Carla says as Peter wraps her up in a hug, Carla gulping at the fact that Ray was sent down for raping her. It took her ages to come to terms with the whole situation and after the whole issue with the contracts she was able to get closure before pressing a hand to her abdomen as a wave of pain sears through it

"You got justice Car" Peter whispers kissing the side of her head

"Peter!" Carla groans as her water's break, typical she thought in a public place as well but she didn’t have time to be embarrassed

"Oh god"

"My waters, we need to go to the hospital," Carla says as Peter nods helping her, with Michelle up the stairs and out of the court heading towards the car

"I'll follow don’t worry" Michelle smiles as Carla winces in pain in the passenger seat groaning in pain, Michelle kisses Carla's head briefly as Peter pulls he seatbelt across her body to strap her in, starting the car and heading towards the hospital

"Peter it hurts" Carla complains as Peter sighs not really in the mood to give her a lecture, rubbing her thigh comfortingly 

"I know it does sweetheart, we're almost there" Peter smiles as Carla cries out in pain Peter putting his foot down on the accelerator trying to get to the hospital before Carla ended up giving birth in the car, Peter helping her out of the car and buying a ticket quickly and getting her a wheelchair, Michelle pulling up beside them having followed

"Let's get you in this then Carla" Michelle says helping Carla into the wheelchair Peter handing Michelle the bag so he could wheel Carla up to the maternity unit, leaving Carla with Michelle so he could book Carla in

"Why didn't you say you were in England?" Carla groans as Michelle laughs at her persistence running a hand through her hair before they were interrupted by the midwife

"Hi Carla, my names Jane and I'll be your midwife, let's get you to a room eh?" Jane says as Carla nods allowing Peter to push her into the delivery room, Jane handing her a gown to dress into, Michelle and Peter both helping her

"Do you want any pain relief, Carla?" Jane questions glancing over her birth plan smiling slightly as Peter rubbing her back

"No I want to do it without" Carla persists as Peter admires her strength still rubbing her back to relieve any pain she was in

"Can I examine you?"

"Fine" Carla groans lying down on the bed allowing Jane to examine her, Michelle holding the gas and air for her so she could get some relief, Peter pressed his lips to her forehead

"You're about a five-"

"Great way to spend my birthday this, didn’t even have a chance to open me pressies" Carla moans as Peter laughs Jane raising her eyebrows

"Well it looks like you may be having someone else's birthday to celebrate as well" Jane grins as Carla groans in response, wondering if Jane was right, squeezing Michelle's hand

"Pass us the makeup bag," Carla says pointing to her makeup bag, Peter handing it to her as she does her makeup, both Michelle and Peter raising an eyebrow

"So you're just going to do your make up?" Peter questions as Michelle laughs slightly holding the makeup brushes for Carla

"Yep, I want to look good when greeting our child, is that a problem?"

"No, not at all" Peter covers as Carla closes her eyes trying to get through another contraction, squeezing Peter's hand rolling her eyes as it fizzles out

"Ugh we need to tell Johnny, gimme my phone" Carla points to her bag as Peter hands her the phone, Carla typing out the message and putting it in the group chat an abundance of replies coming through, Carla groaning at the responses

"Gosh this is so boring" Carla complains as Michelle laughs, Carla squeezing her hand

It was getting towards the evening and Carla was in the last stages of labour, she had no pain relief and she was doing well which made Peter's heart swell with joy as well as excited for the future. Both him and Michelle had been there through the boredom of watching Carla labour but it was soon time for them to be greeted with their child and he was very excited and so was Michelle.

"Is it too late for pain relief?" Carla complains as Jane gets everything ready for when the baby was born, various midwives and doctors in the room

"You're at an eight Carla we need to think about pushing soon, let me know when you want to ok?" Jane asks as Carla just groans in response, Michelle going over to the tap and running the cold water over the cloth returning to press it to Carla's head

"Mmm" Carla moans chewing on the gas and air tube, Peter raising an eyebrow before Carla starts to groan again

"I want to push" Carla complains as Jane slides on come surgical gloves ready to help with the birth

"Alright, next contraction give a push" Jane says as Carla nods slightly urging her body to fight the pain and birth her baby, Carla giving a long push, Peter whispering lovingly into her ear encouraging her, which she was grateful for

"Good job Carla" Jane congratulates her grabbing a towel and placing it on Carla's chest ready for when the baby was born

"Is that another one Carla, if so give a push" Jane encourages her as Carla does what she was told, dipping her head to her chest and giving a push feeling the baby move down within her, Michelle taking a look to see if she could see the head

"Get back here!" Carla shouts grabbing Michelle's arm dragging her away causing Peter to laugh grabbing the cloth and placing it across Carla's head

"I'd say a couple more pushes and we'll have a baby" Jane predicts as Peter kisses Carla's forehead, a smile on Carla's face the excitement setting in for the need to see her child

"Mmm can I push again?" Carla asks as Jane nods, Carla pushing down groaning in discomfort, her knuckles white as she grips onto the railings of the hospital bed

"I can see baby's head Carla, you're so close now" Jane says as Carla nods Peter glancing down and seeing the dark tufts of his baby's hair

"Alright Carla give another push," Jane says as Carla nods dipping her head and pushing down, the release of her baby evident from her body causing her to feel some sort of emptiness which was filled as it was placed on the towel which was rested on her chest

"Hey baby" Carla mumbles as the various members of midwives and doctors clean the baby up, it's little face scrunching up and letting out a hoarse cry, one of the doctor's pipetting the products of her labour out of its mouth to help it cry

"What do we have then?" Peter questions wiping his eyes as Carla has a look

"A girl, we have a daughter Peter" Carla beams as Peter kisses her forehead, holding onto one of his daughter's hands as her natural reflexes take hold, gripping onto one of his fingers

"Do you want to cut the cord, Peter?" Jane offers him the scissors, directing him where to cut which he does, a smile on his face

"Can we weigh her?" Jane questions as Carla nods, Jane taking the baby over to the scales and placing it on there to take its weight and measurements and bringing it back

"That was a big baby Car" Michelle raises her eyebrows as Carla chuckles slightly resting her head on Peter's arm 

"She's 8lbs exactly" Jane says placing the baby back down onto Carla's chest as it's cries soften, the deep brown eyes of its father looking back up at Carla

"She has your eyes" Carla rolls her eyes as Peter laughs 

"She needs a name" Peter says as Michelle nods stroking the baby's cheek as Carla sighs not really knowing what to call her daughter

"Hmm I've always liked Jessica" Carla smiles as Peter nods tilting his head to the side stroking his baby's hand

"That's a good name" Peter contemplates "Jessica Barlow or Connor?"

"Barlow, definitely Barlow" Carla nods as Peter laughs the baby starting to cry, Jane coming over to see what all the fuss was about

"She's probably hungry, would you like to feed her?" Jane questions as Carla bites her lip glancing to Peter then Michelle to gauge their reactions

"You can if you want, love. Entirely up to you" Peter says as Carla still looked apprehensive before nodding

"It's ok to be unsure, if you don’t like it you don’t have to continue feeding her" Jane says as Carla nods, sitting up in bed, the baby cradled in her arms as Jane helps Carla feed the baby who immediately latches on

"Oh wow" Carla muses as Peter laughs slightly giving her kiss on the forehead watching his daughter feed off her mother, Carla drinking in her appearance 

"Oh I almost forgot" Michelle laughs going into her bag and pulling out a box of perfume wrapped in wrapping paper "Happy birthday"

"Oh" Carla chuckles "Thank you 'Chelle"

"No problem" Michelle grins as Peter strokes Carla's hair, holding one of his daughter's feet

"You'll have two birthday's to celebrate now, we want spoiling" Carla points to Peter who just laughs in response

"And I can wait for every single one of them"


End file.
